About Teens

I was very active in school growing up.  Through the years, I was on the newspaper staff, marching band, symphonic band, cheerleading, drama club, class officer…in addition to my many years of dance training outside of school activities.  There wasn’t much that if I didn’t want to give it a try, I didn’t.   It was a public high school with many opportunities for the students and I took advantage of those things.  I kept busy juggling everything but I never felt that I didn’t have a chance to make a team or join a group because the school was too large or because there were too many people that had been training since preschool!

High school sports are much different than when I was involved.  More competitive.  After all, we didn’t start soccer at the age of four like is encouraged in today’s society.  But with more children starting sports younger, by the time they reach their high school years, it seems like more than half of the student body is jockeying for position on the teams.  It makes it more difficult for your average teenagers to play school sponsored sports.  My family has chosen and been fortunate enough to offer private high school educations to our boys.  They know that we consider this an opportunity that we are presenting to them.   Additionally, we have chosen a smaller school that if you want to give something a try, chances are, you will have the chance.  It’s a benefit that we wanted them to experience, especially in today’s highly competitive environment.  Let’s face it – my boys aren’t going to grow up and be any kind of professional athletes – but playing on a high school team is something that shouldn’t feel out of reach to the average teenage athlete and at this particular school, it won’t be.

I was very excited when my two oldest came to us and told us they were considering playing football this year.  I was mostly proud of them for going out there and trying.  Especially in today’s world.  These kids are “groomed” in their sports from a very early age.  Coached to be the best.  Separated into A and B teams early on.  My husband says it is a far cry from the days when he was growing up.  When you started little league at the age of 12 and the first time he set foot on a wrestling mat was as a freshman in high school.   But not now.  For gosh sakes, if your kid hasn’t made it to “Nationals” of some sort by then – well then you’d think they are washed up to hear some coaches and parents talk.

This year the oldest son is a Junior, and the other is a Freshman.  They both started with a football camp a few weeks ago that was held at their school.  It was hard work, in the heat, conditioning and practicing.  They chose to give up their free summer time lounging at the pool – to gear up for the upcoming season.  My eldest son has never played football as an organized sport and additionally he is of shorter stature.  He was reluctant and I knew why.   He, my husband and I discussed it.  We told him – “This is it.  If you want to play, now is the time to do it.  There will never be another time and you never want to look back and regret that you didn’t try.  There will never be a day in your life that you don’t think about these years in some way. “His decision to get in there and mix it up with the big guys made me incredibly proud of him.

Our Freshman played football last year for the local recreational league for the first time as an eighth grader.  He loved it!  Naturally he was one of the smallest guys on the team but he played with all heart and made the most of his season as an outstanding player.  His team went to the championships and unfortunately lost, but the experience was something he’ll never forget.  Yet interestingly, he was also hesitant to play football at the high school level.  He knew the size and strength of those guys and I think he was concerned of his capability. My husband and I are not big people and there isn’t too much we can do about the genetics involved – but we really tried to encourage each of them to give it their best shot if it was something they wanted to do.  We didn’t want them to feel defeated by their size before they had even tried.  I didn’t want them to ever be disappointed in themselves for depriving themselves of the opportunity.  After all, these are years you can never get back, but will spend the rest of your life thinking about.

For the past two weeks, my boys have attended the typical “two-a-day” practices.  Early mornings at 7:30 until 11:00 and evenings 4:00-8:00 six days a week.  Only Sundays off.  It has been a rigorous schedule of exhaustive workouts.  My oldest son has been thrilled with the sport.  He has said on numerous occasions – “I can’t believe I never played before.  I love this!  It’s so much fun!”  They are working hard.  Drilling, running plays, stretching, conditioning, lifting weights.  I asked our Freshman yesterday, “Are you glad you played?”  His answer – “This is awesome.  I like high school football better than club ball last year.  I’m so glad I’m playing.”

Yes, right now our lives are consumed with football.  But it is for a short time in the grand scheme.  Though it may seem like it is just a sport – for my boys, it is more than that.  It is proving to themselves that they can do this.  They haven’t been groomed for this.  They aren’t “built” to play football.  They aren’t seasoned players from the age of 5.  But at 5’3” they are standing against someone who is 6’2” and 250 lbs. and they are saying  -- “Bring it on!”  I always imagine a David and Goliath situation in my head…

Naturally, as a mother, when they come home and report the latest team injuries I cringe.  There isn’t a mother that wants to hear about a child being injured during a sport.  But over the past two weeks our dinner conversation has become who has concussions, who left in an ambulance, who was vomiting after practice.  My boys have not escaped injury this week either.  My oldest is constantly soaking his ankle and taping it up with the trainer before practices.  Does it keep him off of the field playing linebacker?  No way.  Our Freshman had two fingers smashed between helmets – one is a possible fracture according to the trainer (along with the swelling and lovely shade of purple.)  But he also sees the trainer, gets taped and heads out to play running back twice a day.  It has been a learning process for me as well.  I can see my boys developing into men.  My instinct as a mom is to “save them” from being hurt further.

“Are you sure you should play like that?”

“Sure.  Mom.  Really, I’m fine.”

But my job as a mom now is to let them be.  Watch them do their thing as the metamorphosis of adolescence weaves its magic around my boys.  There are no juice boxes after practice or orange wedges waiting on the sidelines.  There are no moms allowed in the locker room.

This is a great life lesson for them as well.  Life is tough.  It is full of obstacles.  Someone is always smarter.  Faster.  Taller.  Better qualified.  Sometimes we get a little beat up along the way.  Believing in yourself, giving it your all and playing from the heart can prevail.  Sometimes it isn’t immediate.  I don’t know that they will be 1^st string starters on the team, but I do know that they are part of that team and are better individuals for trying.  I see the relationship that is cultivating between the two of them for being in “combat” together and looking out for each other as brothers.   For that I am also grateful.

It is weird though.  As a teenage girl, I watched the boys play football.  I watched them practice, run, sweat, get hit and get hurt!  I just thought about how handsome they were in their jerseys.  I had boyfriends that played football but I was still looking for dinner and a movie afterwards.    As a mom, I see it for what it all has been for my boys and for what I didn’t appreciate those guys for back in high school.  The perseverance and commitment that it takes.  The time, dedication and discipline involved.  The willingness to go the distance and the confidence that it builds within them to stand against a formidable opponent.

I love football.  Always have.  Nothing better than a Friday night under the lights ready to belt out a big cheer!  The chill in the night air with our sweatshirts wrapped around us awaiting the kickoff.  I was loyal to my alma mater and have been loyal to those Washington Redskins for decades despite the rough times.   But I have to admit, I’ve never been more excited about a football season than this one…because those are my boys down there and no matter what the scoreboard says, in my eyes they have already won just because they went out for the team.  I’ll have to work extra hard not to cheer too loud and embarrass them!  Maybe just a little cowbell…