Parenting

I wish to thank my esteemed editor (in advance) for allowing me to use this month’s column to send a personal message to all of my Facebook “friends”…“Dear Facebook pals, I am an older guy. I have a Facebook…page, site, whatever it is, because all of the marketing gurus say I need one these days to promote my various musical and literary enterprises…and, of course, because I want to check up on what my kids are up to. Period.

When there’s a death, divorce or remarriage in the family, the holiday season is laden with change. Deeply imbedded traditions that once defined celebrations may, for some family members, be too painful to pursue or too ill-fitting to entertain. The key to changing traditions in reconfigured families is to formulate ideas, get everyone’s input and then ease into the transition.

Separation anxiety – your child crying when you drop him off at daycare, school or anywhere – is a normal phase that start anywhere from seven months to two years. But how to deal with your child crying whenever you leave him or her? At nine months, Christine Botthof’s son, Chase, got a serious case of separation anxiety. “If I walked from the kitchen to the laundry room he would burst into screams and cries,” says Botthof. “As soon as I would reappear, he’d stop.” She says he grew out of it by the time he was 18 months.

My wife and I have the usual amount of marital disagreements when it comes to raising the kids. I have learned, finally, the best way to settle those discussions quickly is to realize that I am never going to have the last word. The kids realize this. If there is a dispute to be settled or a question to be answered they know to bypass me completely and ask mom...

It might be hard to admit something is wrong. It may be particularly difficult to get past feelings of fear, guilt and the persistent stigma that cling to mental health issues. However, if your family is in crisis due to a loved one’s mental illness or behavioral problems, take action.