Dear Dr. Debbie,
Our almost six-year-old pesters me and my wife to buy him things whenever we’re out. What’s the right age for handing over a weekly amount for him to learn to manage on his own?
Bank Of Dad
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Dear B.O.D.,
Age six is the perfect time to start a weekly routine of doling out a reasonable allotment for the child to “splurge” or to save up for items of greater cost. You continue to provide him with necessities and as parents, you decide on the budget for the family’s discretionary expenses, such as dining out, family trips, redecorating, etc. But by age six he has enough of an understanding of time and money that he can learn about waiting for pay day, saving up for larger purchases, and the realities of just how far a dollar goes.
The amount should be kept within the overall family budget so that dispensing it remains comfortable for you and it’s steady for him. This amount needn’t fluctuate for a couple of years. Assuming the certainty of inflation and the increase in opportunities by middle school for him to make more and more spending decisions when you’re not around, the amount can be adjusted until he lands his first paying job as a teenager. At this point a weekly allowance can stop.
Secure Funding
As with many parenting practices, it is important to establish consistency for this procedure. It might be tied to another weekly routine such as attending a religious service or as part of Sunday night’s bedtime checklist which includes readiness for the week ahead. This will both help you to remember to have the cash on hand and help your child to know that the calendar alone – not anything he’s done or not done – determines this regular disbursement.
There are families that tie allowance to chores, however my strong opinion is that chores are what everyone in the family participates in as is appropriate to their abilities. Associating allowance with chores implies that doing chores is a choice. Chores are necessary for helping children learn to take care of themselves and their future households. Children can be guided to contribute as their talents emerge and their abilities develop, with set times for doing chores and your support as needed. (Read here about enforcing chores with well-timed reminders and not doing them yourself.)
Paper or Plastic?
“Real” money is the best way to teach a six-year-old its value even though you many not often use cash for your transactions. His thinking skills are still at a level of concrete thinking – and real money can be physically counted out. His math skills for addition and subtraction will be exercised as he adds the weekly allotment to what has been saved from previous weeks, and as he subtracts amounts that he spends.
If there is a purchase he is interested in that can only be carried out electronically, you can do this for him after he pays you in cash.
Lessons about money also include keeping it safe. Start him off with a designated spot to store his bills and coins – e.g. a traditional piggy bank, an empty coffee can, or a shoebox. As opportunities arise, remind him before leaving the house to take what he thinks he might need to spend.
Probably every child with a pocket has lost money out of it. So, offer your sympathy but don’t replace the lost money. This is a necessary lesson in being extra responsible for things of value.
Savings and Charity
Let’s say your family is able to provide a weekly amount well beyond the typical spending whims of a six-year-old (a cheap toy and some “junk” food). You can add lessons to his financial literacy about saving for future needs and for making the world a better place. Talk about how the grown-ups in the family do these things when you do them. “We’re cutting back on dinners out while we save up for . . .” “We’re choosing to support . . .”
For saving toward a bigger expense of his own, work with him to set a goal – not more than a few weeks away at first – and show him mathematically how a larger amount set aside each week will get him to the goal sooner. Again, this is a great math lesson, especially when dollar bills are accumulating in his money box.
For boosting his participation in philanthropy, include him in a conversation about how you decide on your charitable giving. Help him choose a cause and an amount that is meaningful to him. Tie this action to the other charitable actions he already participates in: brightening an older person’s day with a friendly visit, bringing veggies from the family garden to a neighbor, inviting a friend with a new baby sibling over to play at your house, etc. Make him aware of the good feelings he gets when he acts thoughtfully to benefit others.
Bonus Money
Once your allowance routine is well-established, your child can be included in activities to help the family’s finances in some way. For example, coupon clipping and sales can save grocery money so there’s more to spend on an item you wouldn’t usually get. Have him look through the advertisements that come in the mail, or read through them together as you shop.
Outgrown clothes and toys can go to a consignment shop or community yard sale to yield money for the family (or for him) to make a purchase at the shop or sale. This teaches him to be gentle with his things to increase their resale value long before he has to do this with a car or home.
Valuable lessons in money management can indeed start early.
Dr. Debbie
Deborah Wood, Ph.D. is a child development specialist and founding director of Chesapeake Children’s Museum.
The museum is open with online reservations or call: 410-990-1993. Each Thursday there is a guided nature walk at 10:30 am. Art and Story Times are on Monday mornings at 10:30 am.
CCM will be part of the Annapolis Juneteenth Festival this Saturday at the Bates Athletic Complex, 935 Spa Road, following the parade which begins at noon at Annapolis City Dock. Look for children’s activities in the Watoto (Swahili for “children”) Village at the festival from 1-7 pm.
Read more of Dr. Wood’s Good Parenting columns by clicking here.
