Dear Dr. Debbie,
The Behavior Specialist at camp has called us several times about our ten-year-old son. He often doesn’t participate in group activities and has wandered away a few times. We have since sent his ADD medication hoping this might help with paying attention to the counselors, but there are still problems. This is not his first summer at this resident camp and he always has talked positively about it and looked forward to going. He knows several of the campers and counselors from before.
Before we threaten to take him home early (or the camp tells us we have to), what might get him to go along with the program?
Home Base
Dear H.B.,
Resident Camp can be a wonderful time for a child, as long as everything lines up. Here are some suggestions for salvaging this summer’s camp experience.
A Buddy
See if the counselors can identify and support one close friendship for your camper. The two camp buddies can partner together for activities (scavenger hunt, archery, a silly skit, etc.) and be assigned chores to carry out together. It’s often easier for a child to focus and be successful in gaining positive feelings about himself from interactions with just one child before he has any motivation to “shape up for the benefit of the group”. A friendship can be a powerful motivator to do the right thing.
Alone Time
Does your camper prefer solitary activities? Maybe he just can’t handle the social stimulation of the whole group at once. Ask the staff if there could there be more time in the day’s schedule for book reading, Lego construction, drawing, writing letters home, or other such quiet solitary activities. With teamwork among the staff for adequate supervision, some of these options could occur at the same time as an optional group activity.
Good Leadership
The challenge for the staff of any children’s program is to earn and maintain the children’s respect for their leadership. This comes from exuding confidence (which can come from experience), a track record of leading campers through fun activities in the past, and trust that if something is too challenging, the counselor is there to offer support.
With good leadership, when the counselor says, “We’re going to . . .” the campers can’t wait to hear the plan and carry it out.
Are there patterns of different counselors or specific activities, or times of the day, that your camper is less willing to follow the staff leadership? If so, an adjustment might be made to address this.
Heart to Heart
Does the Behavior Specialist have a good rapport with your son? Perhaps a one-on-one chat could reveal insight into why this camper is reluctant to go along with the program.
You mentioned that he has Attention Deficit Disorder. Repetitive activities and waiting time are particularly hard for children with this disorder. The Behavior Specialist might help to pinpoint common aspects among the things your son prefers not to take part in. He and your son might agree on coping strategies, such as using a discreet fidget, to get past his reluctance to participate.
They might also discuss whether there is something else going on that interferes with your son’s interest and willingness to participate in activities the counselors are presenting. Is his energy level low? (Further conversation might lead to uncovering – poor sleep, depressed appetite, generalized anxiety, or another underlying condition that is interfering with joyful participation.)
Follow Through with Consequences
For a child limited in internal emotional controls, as is often the case for a child with ADD, it is important to have clear and consistent external controls. The camp environment should have a set of rules to assure physical and emotional safety for all. This could be part of the discussion between the Behavior Specialist and the camper in question.
Rules help us to do the right thing. For example, a camper must stay with his group at all times. Reasons include children’s safety (bee stings, tick bites, falls, etc. can occur at any time) and the counselors’ peace of mind. Explain that camper safety is the primary role of the staff and they need campers’ cooperation to be successful with this.
In order to keep campers safe, the counselors should have the ability to impose consequences that serve to emphasize the rule. For example, if a camper has been known to wander off, he becomes the counselor’s assistant for the next few activities – requiring close proximity to the counselor at all times. Alternatively, the counselors might arrange for him to be help out with younger campers under the watchful eye of their counselors while his own group takes part in an activity he would rather not join them in.
A severe consequence, of course, is that a camper who cannot follow the rules has to go home. This should be well thought out before it is presented as a possibility. It’s not a punishment. It’s the right thing to do to keep this camper safe.
Dr. Debbie
Write your question to Dr. Debbie! Please include age(s) of your child(ren) and other details about the situation or concern.
Deborah Wood, Ph.D. is a child development specialist and founding director of Chesapeake Children’s Museum, located at 25 Silopanna Road in Annapolis. Online reservations are available or call: 410-990-1993. Walk-ins are welcome. There is a Nature Walk on Thursdays at 10:30 am. Art and Story Time with Mrs. Spears and Puppy the Puppet is on Mondays at 10:30 am.
Every Wednesday in July CCM hosts Crafternoons from 1-3 pm, with a different theme each week. All materials are provided!
All across the country there will be outdoor readings of the Declaration of Independence on Wednesday, July 8 at 6 pm. Chesapeake Children’s Museum invites you to come to a reading in Spanish and English and to enjoy some “Food Revolution” Ice Cream, made with frozen bananas and no added sugar!
Get Wet Day is a good strategy for this summer’s blistering heat. Come in your swimsuit on Saturday, July 11, 10:30 am to 12:30 pm for lots of outdoor fun with water and go home in your beach towel.
The heat and thunderstorms of July 4th pushed some of our Annapolis250 activities to July 11th. Join us at People’s Park (44 Calvert Street) for: culturally diverse food trucks from 12-5 pm, Folk Dancing from around the world at 1 pm, “Oh, Freedom!” a musical with 7 scenes of the ongoing quest for freedom at 3 pm, and a concert of Black Pride and Protest 4-5 pm. Park at Whitmore Garage (37 clay St) for $4.
Summer Family Memberships to the museum are on sale now with unlimited admissions for your family through Labor Day.
