As a first-time parent, I used to envision taking my toddler to a coffee shop for a sweet little “date.” In my mind, we shared pastries and heartfelt conversations. In reality, it looked more like me picking up half-bitten muffins off the floor, wiping crumbs from the table and trying to keep my toddler from wandering to other people’s seats.

And that was just coffee.

Dinner is another beast — one I rarely attempted for fear I’d regret it, secretly wishing I’d stayed home and baked a frozen pizza instead.

But experts say eating out with toddlers doesn’t have to feel like wrangling a tiny tornado. Registered dietician Megan McNamee and occupational feeding therapist Judy Delaware from the parent-guiding coursework on early nutrition and eating, Feeding Littles, taught me that with a handful of simple strategies and the right expectations, eating out with young children is possible, and even, dare I say, pleasant.

Their No. 1 tip?

“Don’t strap toddlers in the highchair until it’s time for food,” McNamee says.

Toddlers don’t enjoy containment, so save those precious minutes for the meal itself. Some kids have more patience than others — but if you have a runner, this tactic can make or break the outing.

So, what should frazzled caretakers do while waiting for the food to arrive?

Here are more toddler-friendly strategies from Feeding Littles:

• Have them sit on your lap until the meal comes.
• Expect to stand up and walk around. New walkers need movement. Washing hands together is a great place to start — and reinforces good hygiene. If they still need more movement, step outside or walk near the front of the restaurant where you won’t disrupt the staff.
• Pack a restaurant-only busy bag with toys they haven’t seen before: Wikki Stix, board books, tiny figurines, stickers or Band-Aids, crayons and paper, memory cards, small cars or a mini dry-erase board for tabletop play.
• Don’t order kids’ meals first. Instead, fend off hunger with a small snack — dry cereal, freeze-dried strawberries — so they aren’t done eating long before the adults. (If your child is a very slow eater, skip this tip.)
• Try to avoid devices during meals, since kids may associate eating with screens. But if you absolutely need one during a meltdown or slow service, just put it away once the food arrives.
• Ask for the check as entrées hit the table — perfect for short attention spans.

As with anything toddler-related, it all comes down to practice.

A Local Restaurant’s Perspective

To get a real-world look at how restaurants support families, we spoke with the Bluepoint Hospitality team behind Bonheur, a dessert parlor in downtown Easton. The Coco-Chanel -inspired design, including whimsical pleated lampshades, elegant wall coverings and custom leather booths, make this a chic, inviting space. Although Bonheur isn’t tailored towards toddlers (no high chairs available), staff are always happy to accommodate families.

When it comes to advice for parents of toddlers, the team suggests previewing their menu online in advance. “This preparation helps parents order more quickly, allowing our team to deliver their dessert or breakfast without any delay.”

They also note that choosing an engaging, family-friendly atmosphere often captivates children, “giving them plenty to explore and feel fascinated by, visually.” Bonheur hosts themed Afternoon Teas throughout the year designed with children in mind. Past events have ranged from Alice in Wonderland to Harry Potter, plus seasonal celebrations like its annual holiday tea and “Breakfast with Santa.”

“These vibrant and whimsical events capture a young visitor’s attention, engage their imaginations and tap into their playful spirit!” the Bonheur team notes.

As for its menu, Bonheur offers plenty for young children: house-made ice cream, creamy soda floats, milkshakes and specialty sundaes. But there’s a careful balance between sophistication and accessibility. “While we feature sophisticated ice cream flavors like Sweet Potato Candied Pecan, we also ensure traditional, childhood favorites such as Cookies and Cream or Peanut Butter Cup are made available,” the team explains.

Its breakfast menu is designed for palates of all ages. Families will find simple and familiar dishes like French waffles with berries served with honey butter and maple syrup, healthy steel-cut oatmeal and soft, easy-to-handle sweet crêpes, especially popular with little ones.

Shifting Expectations Can Improve the Experience

The heart of eating out with children is about shifting expectations. Let go of the relaxed, lingering adult meals you enjoyed before kids. Consider what’s developmentally appropriate, keep expectations low and remember that this season is temporary.

With practice, most children develop longer attention spans and become more enjoyable mealtime companions. Until then, choose family-friendly restaurants  — and don’t forget to tip your restaurant staff.

Snowflake Sugar Cookie

Recipe from Bluepoint Hospitality

Yield: 24 cookies

Ingredients:

• 1 and 3/4 cups unsalted butter
• 2 and 3/4 cups granulated sugar
• 3 large, Grade A eggs
• 1/2 tablespoon vanilla extract
• 6 and 1/4 cups Sir Galahad flour
• 3/4 tablespoon of baking powder
• 1 and 1/2 teaspoons salt
• 1/2 cup (for decorating) sanding sugar

Directions:

Step 1: Sift the dry ingredients and reserve.

Step 2: Take room temperature butter and sugar and place in a kitchen mixer using the paddle attachment on slow speed, then gradually move to a medium speed until creamy smooth.

Step 3: Lower the bowl down and scrape the sides with a spatula into the bowl.

Step 4: Raise the bowl again and put on slow speed and start to add the eggs, only adding half the allotted amount at a time to fully incorporate each egg, each time. Add one egg, then the second egg 30 seconds later. (Save the third egg.)

Step 5: Continuing on a low speed, add dry ingredients and mix until dough begins to form. Do not over mix.

Step 6: Remove the dough and cut into two halves. Place saran wrap around each half and pat the dough for each half down to a 1/4 inch thick. Then, chill for two hours.

Step 7: Take a snowflake cookie cutter and punch out the snowflake shape and place on a cookie sheet lined with wax paper or a silicone sheet.

Step 8: Take the third egg and discard or reserve the egg yolk and only use the egg white to lightly brush on the dough with a cooking brush, then sprinkle sanding sugar on top.

Step 9: Bake at 325 degrees F for 8 to 12 minutes until lightly golden. Reserve to cool, and then serve.