Dear Dr. Debbie,
When my four-year-old twins are at play they seem to be totally focused. They might be using dolls to act out a family drama, or using dirt, rocks and sticks to build a town in the back yard. I have to work hard to break through their concentration to get them to understand that their food is ready. On the other hand, if I join in their play, I am swiftly included in the make-believe.
What Gives?
Dear W.G.
You are describing a state of deep concentration that allows children to engage in pretend play while totally ignoring anything else in the vicinity. During creative play, children are in a state of mind similar to drifting off to sleep. It is truly interruptive to try to get their attention during intense play, much the same as if you were jarred awake by an alert on your cell phone just as you were dozing off.
Brain Science
Brain activity can be measured using electroencephalography (EEG) to note the speed of electrical impulses being passed between brain cells. Although different rates may be in operation at once (there are about 1,000 trillion brain cell connections in a typical three-year-old brain) only one rate will dominate at any particular time.
These levels from slowest to fastest are:
Delta – deep sleep, no critical thinking, crucial for the immune system and healing.
Theta – deep relaxation, creative thinking, highly susceptible to suggestion.
Alpha – relaxed wakefulness, day dreaming, light sleep.
Beta – aroused mind, conscious thought, logical reasoning.
Gamma – highest ability to process information when awake and during dreams.
Brains at Play
Theta brain waves, at a relatively slow rate of 4-8 cycles per second, are dominant during creative play. This rate is associated with problem-solving, often connecting ideas in new ways, and with processing emotions. In this state, a child can work through ideas and feelings to store this information for later use. As a child plays he builds a foundation of memories that can be retrieved for future play scenarios in childhood, but also for future mental and emotional tasks throughout life.
Hypnotic Suggestion
The theta state of mind is sometimes described as “semi-hypnotic” because, as you’ve probably seen in your children, it’s easy for them to accept a bizarre idea (“let’s pretend this leaf is a stop sign”) in order to keep the make-believe going. When you join in their play, you must first accept whatever scene, roles, and props they have conjured up in order to fit in.
The theta state allows for the risk-taking required in creative tasks: “Maybe this will work”. They probably go through lots of ideas for their civil engineering project of making a city out of dirt and sticks while their thoughts are at theta speed. Creative thinking requires an attitude of “anything’s possible”. Problem-solving includes trying different solutions (brain storming) to choose one that will work. The process includes discarding ideas that don’t work. This ability will serve your children well for future problem solving.
Make-believe happens to be a great way to get a child to cooperate with an otherwise mundane task such as putting toys away before dinner. While the theta waves are still active, suggest that the three of you are bull-dozers scooping up a load of toys with your hands. Or imagine that a pirate ship is near and the children have to quickly put all the jewels and dress-up clothes in the “treasure chest” and stow it away before the ship arrives.
When it’s time to eat, you can become the maître d’ who has come to announce that the table is ready.
Emotional Work
Children’s play often involves emotional work. They pretend at having strong emotions as a way to understand the emotions they’ve encountered in real life. Good guys vs. bad guys is a common theme for the pretend play of four-year-olds. Aggression, fear, and other feelings enter the plot on purpose – for the purpose of having an opportunity to be immersed in the drama and having to figure out how to play out the scene. Even a simple scene of preparing food and feeding a baby may include rushing and stressing – as a child has observed in his own parent.
When you join in a make-believe scene you have a chance to show them how to be emotionally intelligent. Guide the drama toward a positive ending that reflects the values held by your family – fairness, consideration for others, cooperation, responsibility, etc. You can demonstrate how to manage the stress of family mealtime with a positive example. This can be a lesson they carry forward to the next generation.
The Theta Years
Theta waves are most dominant during ages three to seven. These are the ages for rich make-believe play as well as for learning. Children in this age range are highly imaginative and deeply impressionable.
Think of making the most of this stage of development with opportunities for creative play. And while you’re at it, impress them with your sincere belief that they are wondrously amazing human beings.
Dr. Debbie
Write your question to Dr. Debbie! Please include age(s) of your child(ren) and other details about the situation or concern.
Deborah Wood, Ph.D. is a child development specialist and founding director of Chesapeake Children’s Museum, located at 25 Silopanna Road in Annapolis.
CCM is open from 10 am to 4 pm daily. Online reservations are available or call: 410-990-1993. Walk-ins are welcome. Art and Story Time with Mrs. Spears and Puppy the Puppet is on Monday mornings at 10:30 am. Each Thursday there is a Nature Walk at 10:30 am.
On December 13, CCM will bring activities to the Kwanzaa Celebration at the Banneker-Douglass-Tubman Museum from 10 am to 4 pm.
