Dear Dr. Debbie,
Our children range from 10 to 15-years-old. Unfortunately, screen time limits fell by the wayside during the pandemic and we’ve never gone back to enforcing, “go do something else now.” We haven’t been good at socializing in the neighborhood either so, “Go find a friend to play with” isn’t an easy option.
Is excessive video game playing, texting, and movie watching bad for them? Their screens keep them from bugging each other.
Often On My Phone
Dear O.O.M.P.,
The latest recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics, Center of Excellence, Social Media and Youth Mental Health suggest that it’s not a simple matter of limiting the quantity of time, but rather paying attention to potential harm from different kinds of screen time.
Social Media
Tweens and teens are particularly vulnerable to attacks, betrayals, dares, romantic heartbreaks, and other social challenges. This can happen through social media as well as in person.
Set ground rules and use controls available for online accounts for minors. You can control what time the device gets turned off at night, for example. Parental controls are available for social media accounts for a reason. Predators and scammers can take advantage of tweens and teens, sometimes posing as a youngster themselves.
Regular monitoring of your child’s online interactions, with their knowledge, helps to prevent some of the troubles that this technology can present in the social lives of young people. Be the parent you wish your children’s friends had.
Set parameters for social media interactions the same as you do for in-person interactions. A parent must always know who their children are with. Online friends must be known as well. Have your children invite friends over. Meet the parents. A parent network is essential for keeping tabs on potential problems in the years before driving, and much harder to develop when teens start driving themselves around.
Family Patterns
Media use is a family matter. Parents set the model of how to use screen time for work, getting information (what’s tomorrow’s weather?), entertainment, and socializing. Just as with other healthy habits, you are an example for the children to follow.
Find opportunities to have family conversations about privacy and personal information, online bullying, limits on time spent with various media, evaluating questionable content, etc. The family can decide, for example, on restricting phone use at the dinner table and holding a regular weekly time for the family to play a video game or watch a movie together.
Family conversations may lead to making plans for family outings, taking on new hobbies, or planning visits to the library. Maybe your family can be the instigators for a block party for the neighbors. Someone can organize games and crafts so all the children can make friends.
The more that family time is filled with positive activities, the less time individuals will have to spend on their use of media.
Gaming Addiction
Excessive video game playing is recognized as a mental health disorder when the time devoted to it negatively affects sleep, daily activities, and social relationships. Worldwide, gaming disorder affects about 3% of all gamers according to new research reported in the Journal of the American Medical Association. While that’s a small percentage, it’s a good idea to prevent an addiction from getting started.
As with gambling addiction, the brain is charged with dopamine – the feel good neurotransmitter – when there is a win. Adrenaline surges during the uncertainties of play and over time, higher and higher doses of stimulation are sought to achieve satisfaction. Increasing challenges are built into the design of video games to keep players playing. This can be fun, until it isn’t.
Addiction to video gaming is more likely in adolescents with prior conditions, suggests research from the University of California. “The kids who were already having depressive symptoms and social issues were more likely to get stuck in a cycle of problematic gaming.” Taking away the opportunity to play video games won’t solve the underlying issues. “Without addressing what’s really going on, parents will not only be contending with their child’s withdrawal symptoms, their child may relapse into more addictive gaming behaviors or find another outlet.”
Balance
As important as quantity of time spent on media use is – namely to be sure there’s ample time spent on physical activity, hobbies, schoolwork, and friendships, the content of what children are exposed to in their media use is equally important. We’ve long known that sex and violence are developmentally inappropriate for youngsters. We are also learning that hurt feelings can arise when tweens and teens use social media as a weapon.
Media is sometimes an easy escape from loneliness or social awkwardness. In-person interactions with friends is a way to learn social skills. Human beings are much more complex than are the characters in movies and video games. Your children may need some assistance from you to cultivate convenient neighborhood relationships. Is there a community center or recreation center nearby with scheduled or drop-in activities? Is this something you could help to set up?
An important factor in limiting screen time is to be sure that children and teens are getting at least an hour of physical exercise every day. Adequate sleep is also essential for good health and physical development as well as mental health.
Find ways to balance screen time that is fun, intellectually stimulating, and socially connective without eclipsing everyone’s need to be present in the real world.
Dr. Debbie
Write your question to Dr. Debbie! Please include age(s) of your child(ren) and other details about the situation or concern.
Deborah Wood, Ph.D. is a child development specialist and founding director of Chesapeake Children’s Museum, located at 25 Silopanna Road in Annapolis. Online reservations are available or call: 410-990-1993. Walk-ins are welcome. There is a Nature Walk on Thursdays at 10:30 am. Art and Story Time with Mrs. Spears and Puppy the Puppet is on Mondays at 10:30 am. Every Wednesday in July CCM hosts Crafternoons from 1-3 pm, with a different theme each week. All materials are provided!
On Saturday, July 18 explore bubble-ology at Bubble Fest at 10:30 am.
Summer Family Memberships to the museum provide unlimited admissions for your family through Labor Day.
