Dear Dr. Debbie,
I feel like I’m chained to the kitchen when I’m at home, needing to dish out never-ending snacks and meals. When I catch my breath, I try to plan and pack ahead much as possible. How do I get my brood ages 5 to 10 (and husband) to find their way to get their own food and drink without creating a big mess or starting a fire?
My mother was a poor example, declaring the kitchen off limits to children. Apparently my husband’s mom was the same way, and they ate out a lot. Fortunately for myself and my family, I had a semester of Introduction to Cooking in high school or we’d be eating cereal and milk three times a day.
Hesitant Cooking Teacher
Dear H.C.T.,
Preparing one’s own food is a life skill. I’m glad you’ve been able to gain skills to feed your family. It’s high time to pass some lessons on to them.
Set Up
Consider your children’s heights as you set up the family’s kitchen for self-service. Store basic cooking tools, plates, bowls and utensils in cabinets and drawers under the counter. Safety considerations dictate that butter knives are within reach but sharper tools are reserved for taller cooks after a “training” time of close supervision.
A refrigerator is more user-friendly when the potential cooks and snackers can reach what they need. Reserve the lower shelves and drawers for their independent use. Lure them in with pre-cut veggies and fruits in small containers. If your freezer space is within their reach, fruit juice popsicles or yogurt and fruit popsicles are stored here. (Frozen peas have been a help-yourself favorite in our family for two generations!) Likewise, when you stock the pantry with help-yourself items that don’t need refrigeration, these should be low enough for the 5-year-old to grab.
As you introduce recipes that can be followed independently, the tools and ingredients need to be conveniently located. A smoothie will need a blender or food processor. A toaster is a handy tool for whole grain waffles. If your microwave is on the counter, include its use in your lessons. If kitchen space allows, keep a small supply of baking powder, olive oil, salt, pepper and other seasonings where the children can reach. A note on easy access for the other grown-up in the home: put his favorite snacks on shelving at his eye level.
If there is a concern about overconsumption of non-nutritious items, and assuming you are the one handling the shopping, limit their purchase. When it’s gone for the week, it’s gone. You might also use a method for labeling personally owned items with a marking pen, or by using a box or shelf with each person’s name on it.
Tools and supplies for cleaning up also need to be within reach to encourage start-to-finish independence in the kitchen. A faucet extender may be needed for your younger children to be able to manage washing up without assistance.
Inclusion
Bring up this new way of doing things at a family meeting. This could be at dinner time. Take notes of everyone’s ideas of what they want to do, from stocking grab-and-eat snacks where they can reach to putting together ingredients to make a meal for the family. Future meetings can generate ongoing ideas of what they’d like to master.
Schedule time for one-on-one instruction. This could be for using the electric can opener on the tuna fish can before you whip up some sandwiches or rinsing the apples before you quarter and core them and add peanut butter. Repeat the same task with your “student” in a day or two so the lesson sticks. Add the next steps in these recipes after the first step is conquered. Be sure to include instruction for where to find cleanup tools and materials.
Rules
Kitchen safety centers on cuts and burns. Prevention includes: Pay close attention to hot things and sharp things, use pot holders or child-sized oven mitts, always cut away from fingers. First aid treatment for either requires access to running water. (See suggestion above for a faucet extender for shorter children.)
Food poisoning and slips are prevented by avoiding tasting anything with uncooked egg in it, keeping the counter and cutting board clean and wiping up spills on the floor right away. If you teach these things from the beginning you help to build kitchen confidence.
It’s a good idea to instill the habit of clean-as-you-go with cooking activities. Or at least enforce the rule of leaving it in good condition for the next user as you would any shared space.
As long as you’re setting rules for use of the kitchen, include the basic rules of nutrition. Nutritious foods provide the building blocks for growing bodies plus overall health and energy. Choose from vegetables and fruits, lean proteins, whole grains and milk products (or calcium-rich substitutes).
At the beginning of your tutelage, certain appliances and tools may require immediate adult supervision. As competence grows, so does privilege. Remember, as with many other life skills, the goal is to increase your children’s independence as you guide them toward adulthood.
Recipes
Start simple — peanut butter or almond butter on apple slices — and build up to a full meal. When your novice chefs have mastered how to make foods they already know, expand their repertoires with some online suggestions. Keep nutrition in mind. Throw in lessons about time management (lasagna takes several steps including time in the oven to bake) and economics (pie crust for a quiche is much less expensive if you make it from scratch).
Encourage the kitchen crew to develop their own recipes! These can be kept in an old-fashioned card file in the kitchen, or start a record of crowd-pleasing dishes in the family computer.
Teamwork is also a nice ingredient. For chicken soup, the broth might be ready-made; an adult handles cutting up the raw chicken (or bake it ahead of time and add cut-up pieces at the end). It might take all three children to chop the veggies. The oldest child cuts the carrots since they need the longest time to cook. Shredded cabbage goes in next, followed by chopped potatoes. Noodles can be boiled in a separate pot by the person who was the carrot chopper to insure proper timing.
Once they get the hang of it, the team could impress the grandparents at their next visit.
Dr. Debbie
Write your question to Dr. Debbie! Please include age(s) of your child(ren) and other details about the situation or concern.
Deborah Wood, Ph.D. is a child development specialist and founding director of Chesapeake Children’s Museum, located at 25 Silopanna Road in Annapolis. Online reservations are available or call: 410-990-1993. Walk-ins are welcome. There is a Nature Walk on Thursdays at 10:30 am. Art and Story Time with Mrs. Spears and Puppy the Puppet is on Mondays at 10:30 am. Blue Angel Day is all day on Wednesday, May 20. Come by to make paper airplanes and other flying machines! On Saturday, May 23, Dovie Thomason returns with Native American folktales for Turtle and Friends.
