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Tuesday, February 7, 2023

DVD Review: Soccer Mom

I must make a confession.  I have a penchant for kiddie movies.  I own everything Disney ever made and I have to admit I actually sat down, of my own volition, to watch It Takes Two, starring the Olsen twins.  So, as you can imagine, I was actually looking forward to settling in and watching Soccer Mom.
Soccer Mom stars Emily Osment of the "Hannah Montana" TV show.  I had a chance to watch that show this past weekend and it was cute; a totally clean kids show.  I rolled my eyes a couple of times, but overall I enjoyed it and I wouldn't mind sitting down with my thirteen-year-old niece to watch it.  I wish I could say the same for Soccer Mom.
The premise of Soccer Mom is that Becca's (Emily Osment) father passes away ,leaving the anti-motivator, Coach Kenny (played by Steve Hytner), to coach her soccer team.  Coach Kenny must resign after his day job transfers him to Milan.  He tells the team he has convinced his "friend", the renowned Italian soccer player Lorenzo Vincenzo, to come and coach the team.  Per Coach Kenny's instructions, Becca's mom arrives at the hotel to pick up the famous Lorenzo Vincenzo.  Due to a huge coincidence (that some might call a plot gap) Lorenzo happens to be at the hotel, but he makes it clear to Becca's mom that he has not arrived in the United States to coach "the little girl's soccer".  Now, Becca's mom Wendy must step up.  She proceeds to make herself over (with the help of her hairdresser co-worker, who, oh yes, happens to be an out-of-work special effects creator) into Lorenzo Vincenzo.  Sound familiar?  Yes?  That's because Robin Williams already did this, only better, and without all of the sleazy sexual innuendos.
I found myself cringing as Lorenzo made very inappropriate hand gestures to indicate how Becca's mom might "convince" him to coach the team.  My mouth dropped to the floor when he told a "fan" to meet him at the hotel wearing a zoo keeper's uniform, after she informed him that she had "been a very bad girl".  This movie is rated PG!  Other movies also rated PG: The Incredibles, Lilo and Stitch, and Enchanted.  I hardly consider these to be in the same category.  I would have been embarrassed to be sitting next to a child during this movie.  As a kid who actually had to wait until she was 13 to see a PG-13 movie and, much to my mortification, 17 until I was able to watch anything rated R, I think that the writers could have shown some restraint.
It's a sweet story!  The mother really wants to help her daughter and I was rooting for the Bad News Bears gone soccer team to win.  Sadly, I know children who have lost a parent much too young.  I think having outlets such as soccer, or even your favorite tween star Emily Osment, to help those children feel not-so-alone is great, critical even.  I just wish that they had decided to tell this story, no matter how many times we've heard it before, with a little class.


by Amy Dawson Henrickson

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