“2 Guns” is based on a comic book series by Steven Grant, but I have to wonder—much like I did with this summer’s “R.I.P.D.”—why does Hollywood keep thinking comic books are the best way to go for films? The narrative here is laughably bad; the plot twists are obvious. The only female character is a vixen who ends up being bitter and jealous, and then sad and regretful, so ultimately she’s every female stereotype—now with more sex scenes! And Kormákur tries to make the film current with a bit of a political statement about the U.S. government, but it’s clunky and misplaced. Who is seeing this movie to learn more about our country’s relationship with Mexico? Absolutely no one.
The film focuses on Bobby (Washington, of “Flight,” “Safe House,” and “Unstoppable”), an undercover DEA agent, and Stig (Wahlberg, of “Ted,” “Contraband,” and “The Fighter”), undercover U.S. Navy intel; neither of them knows who the other actually is. But together they decide to rob a bank in which Mexican drug lord Papi Greco (Edward James Olmos, of “The Green Hornet”) is stashing $3 million, because each thinks the money will get him back in the good graces of their respective organizations. Bobby has been undercover for two years as a drug dealer; he doesn’t want that time to be wasted. Stig has been AWOL for six months posing as efficient muscle; he wants to get back into the Navy already. Neither of them cares too much about betraying the other.
Or do they? It seems that a friendship was brewing under all that double-crossing—or at least, a legitimate partnership is forced upon them when it turns out the money they took was actually $43 million, and it actually belonged to the CIA, not Papi. So Bobby turns to ex-girlfriend Deb (Paula Patton, of “Mission: Impossible – Ghost Protocol” and “Jumping the Broom”), who is still in the DEA, and Stig turns to his commanding officer Quince (James Marsden, of “Bachelorette,” “Straw Dogs,” and “Hop”), but the two men really need each other. Especially with CIA enforcer Earl (Bill Paxton, of “Haywire”) nipping at their heels, ready to torture them to get the money back.
The thing to know about “2 Guns” is that no matter how complicated and convoluted the narrative gets, there’s always another stupid twist coming around the corner. So to describe the dialogue as perfunctory at best, and the characters as flat and under-developed, and the action scenes uninspiring and frustratingly brief, shouldn’t be surprising, either. Instead of crafting believable characters, Washington and Wahlberg each stick to shtick—the former to a cavalier attitude exemplified by him telling Deb he didn’t love her, but he “really meant” to, and the latter to a devil-may-care goofiness that includes lots of flirty winks and braggadocio boasting. And that one-note quality extends to Olmos (quality: smarmy) and Paxton (quality: unhinged), too, so every man is just swaggering around with an obvious motive and a gun. So many guns!
It’s frustrating, of course, because Washington can play this kind of crooked cop character in his sleep, and Wahlberg is always charismatic and likeable, no matter what he does. If they had more to do or more scenes with each other, the film would undeniably benefit from it. But as it stands, “2 Guns” is an infuriating, joyless movie, underserving both its cast (especially Patton, who is used only for her body here) and its audience.
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