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Family Movie Review: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (PG-13)

TeenageMutantNinjaTurtles ChesapeakeFamilyMovieReviewKernel Rating (out of 5): half-popcorn-kernal

MPAA Rating: PG-13       Length: 101 minutes

Age Appropriate For: 12+. ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ is a movie unsure of whether it should cater to children or teenagers, and therefore has the worst of both worlds. There is some cursing; a few different sexually themed jokes and conversations (a joke about an erection, for example, and constant contacts about how hot the only female character is); various bathroom humor; the depiction of scientific testing on animals; and, of course, lots and lots of violence, including an arson, martial-arts action, gunfire, and car crashes, and the discussion of fathers dying. But, of course, there are no repercussions for those who do the killing.

It’s not necessarily that ‘Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles’ will ruin your childhood memories, but that it doesn’t even acknowledge them. The film, produced by Michael Bay, so lazily changes the characters’ origin story and does so little with the concept that it barely resembles a TMNT movie at all.

By Roxana Hadadi

Sure, the Michael Bay-produced reboot of “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” has all the necessary elements, or at least most of them. It has a vaguely Japanese backstory, a villain named Shredder, a rat named Splinter, a reporter named April O’Neil, and four mutated crime-fighting turtles named after Renaissance artists. But those elements never come together quite right, and the film doesn’t even try, really. This is a movie about the TMNT in name only—neither Bay and Co.’s restructuring of the intrinsic elements or the spirit and tone of the film capture the franchise’s original appeal.

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