Real world back-to-school checklist — One Moore Thing

school shoppingIt is almost time to send your dear cherubs back to school. I literally just paused from typing to high five myself. But first, let’s focus. You have some back to school shopping to do. That list of 72 items per child is a surefire good time that leads you to wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat muttering, “Where are the prongs?” But believe it or not there is even more that you need before September arrives.

Here are the things that I’ve come to learn with my four school age children that you really need to prepare for the school year.

1. 18,000 Sharpened No. 2 Pencils. Hey kids, let’s play a game called how many pencils will you be able to find at the end of the school year? Last June we had three if you count the one that was the same size as my pinky. I feel like saying two and one eighth of a pencil would be a more mathematically accurate pencil count. We lost over 17,000 last year but somehow one prevailed and was sharpened to the point of being fit only for an American Girl doll. My children never cease to both amaze and confuse me.

2. A New Lunchbox. Please for the love of all things that make your nostrils burn, if your child’s lunchbox is on its third or fourth year, you will smell your child before the bus doors open on the first day of school. In late July my 12-year-old realized that she packed a BANANA that she never ate on the last day of school. Sometimes you discover that there are bugs in your child’s lunch that you never knew existed. Thanks science but we are starting this year fresh. You are welcome dear bus drivers.

3. All of the Things that Come in Pouch Form. I’m so sorry Mother Earth. I’m sure that these are not great for the planet but sometimes we just need convenience or we will never ever get out of the door. Ever. Juice pouch. Applesauce pouch. Yogurt pouch. Pouches I don’t even know about yet. I want them ALL. Dear pouch inventors, keep on keeping on. I’m just going to put them up there with Google and Siri for my favorite parenting assistants (p.s. I love you).

4. Thickened Skin. Oh my lionesses, we must protect our cubs, yes. But we also need to help them thrive and grow, and we must know when to stay silent. There will be battles we fight for and battles that we need to let go. Reapply your thickened skin daily. And also know that it helps to bring treats to share to PTA meetings.

5. Caffeine. For you. For the teachers. For the bus drivers. For anyone over the age of 18 that is helping to keep our children safe and happy and reading on a daily basis. Make those lattes rain.

6. ALL THE GLUE. Oh do you think those 6 glue sticks are going to last the whole year? That’s cute. Rookie, please. You get the Costco supreme 99 pack of glue sticks along with a Starbucks gift card for the teachers at the beginning of the year and EVERYONE WINS.

7. A Clone. I know. I’m just pipe dreaming over here. But that would be the greatest thing ever (aside from Amazon Prime and pouch formed food). A clone that could provide Uber services to all of the afterschool insanity and cook the 4:30 early bird special and the 8:30 post practice extra meal... now that could be life changing. This is why our kids need to stay in school to ensure that these things will happen.

8. A Village. If we can’t have clones (get your head in the game Zuckerberg), this is the next best thing. I do not even know how I would survive without my village. They keep me sane, laughing and caffeinated. And we have each other's and our children's backs. It is a beautiful thing to have in parenthood and in life.

9. A Gazillion Dollars. Just for Target and Amazon alone. Kids are expensive. I’m pretty sure I would be a gazillionaire if I wasn’t spending all my Benjamins on glue sticks. By Benjamins I mean my Redcard so I can save 5 percent (momma didn’t raise no fool). Also note to self: invest in Elmers stock.

10. A Sense of Humor. Life is wild and kids are hilarious so we might as well laugh together. Find your village and hug them hard. Seek the joy in the chaos. We all have moments of drowning and the connection is what can so often keep us afloat. Don’t forget to take care of yourself and keep serving humor as a side dish to your goldfish and your wine pouches. We’ve got this.

Happy back to school everyone and thank you to our dear teachers, the unsung heroes among us. Godspeed... glue sticks, goldfish and gazillions. You deserve it all.


Cheers.

To read more blogs by Katie Moore click here.

MooreFam SKatie Yackley Moore is a freelance writer, yoga instructor and a momma of four navigating life and a separation and finding herself in the process. She adores coffee shops, laughing until it hurts and impromptu dance parties. Her work has appeared on Scary Mommy, Mamalode and HuffPost Parents. She has published a journal entitled "Dream a Bigger Dream" and the children's books "You Are a Warrior" and "We are Family" and just finished her first novel. Catch up with her between tea breaks at The Naked Momma and on Facebook.