To The Next Generation of Girls — One Moore Thing

To the next generation of girls, 

There are a few things that we don’t always talk about. But we need to.

So much of life is black and white, right and wrong, crystal clear yesses and nos. But there is so much gray. There is so much that is blurry. That is the part that is hushed that we are supposed to be quiet about. And that is the part that we need to talk about. 

There are things that we have to be taught once we are old enough to drive: unfortunate truths from the unofficial girls handbook. Never leave your drink unattended. Don’t drink too much. Never go anywhere after dark alone. If you are alone, grasp your keys between your fingers so you can use them as a weapon against attackers. Always tell a friend where you are going out on a date. Always carry pepper spray. Yell fire instead of rape because it is more likely that someone will help you. 

What we don’t talk about: there is a high chance that someone is going to hurt you in this life, emotionally, physically or sexually or all of the above. What we need to talk about: IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Please say something. Please use your voice. Please don’t bury what happened and carry it with you for a lifetime. What we are unconsciously taught is that it is our fault. We look at what we did wrong instead of looking at what the other person did wrong to take advantage of us. We carry embarrassment and shame and self blame and let it blur our truth. We say things like, my skirt was too short or he was my friend/boyfriend/partner so I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt me or I probably had one too many drinks or I shouldn’t have worked so late or tried so hard. Or I should have screamed louder. 

We take our pain and reconcile it. And we think we would have said something if it were a higher level of pain. Well he didn’t rape me so I’m not sure if it counts as sexual assault. Well he hurt me but if it hurt worse then I would have reported it. Well I should have done more to stop it. Well I don’t want anything to happen to his scholarship. Well it could have been worse, I’m sure. Well he didn’t listen to me but maybe I somehow asked for it; maybe I deserved it. Well I should say something but I don’t know if anyone will believe me. Well I will be okay. 

Please girls, you have to know that you do not have to be silent. Please speak up. The only way we are going to change the dialogue is if men are going to be held accountable for their actions. I hope one day that women will be believed. I hope one day that you will feel safe in a city after dark. I hope that you will wear whatever you want to. I hope one day our confidence will outweigh our fear. I hope one day that you won’t have to carry pepper spray in your purse. 

But that day is not today. 

But we won’t give up. And neither should you. Keep showing up and keep those standards and heels high. You have the power to change this world. And it starts with your voice. Now. And if you are 18 or above, I look forward to seeing you vote. 

Here’s to a braver tomorrow.

 

Katie’s essay and tangent collection about motherhood, life and imperfection, Happy Broken Crayons is available on Amazon now. Thank you for reading. You are the (queen) bees knees. Happy happy holidays and happy happy new year to you. In setting your hopes for 2018, please think about your word. I can’t wait to hear it. Xoxo

To read more blogs by Katie Moore click here.

MooreFam SKatie Yackley Moore is a freelance writer, real estate agent, yoga instructor and a momma of four navigating life and a separation and finding herself in the process. She adores coffee shops, laughing until it hurts and impromptu dance parties. Her work has appeared on Scary Mommy, Mamalode and HuffPost Parents. She has published a journal entitled "Dream a Bigger Dream" and the children's books "You Are a Warrior" and "We are Family" and just finished her first novel. Catch up with her between tea breaks at The Naked Momma and on Facebook.

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