Dear Dr. Debbie,
I was trying to have a conversation with my ten-year-old about inventions and engineering and she kept bringing up examples from video game characters. One character found a way to fly. Another figured out how to be invisible. Meanwhile, I’m trying to impress her with examples of human ingenuity to solve problems. My examples included tools and inventions that work like a hand only better – a hair comb has “fingers” to get out tangles, a crab mallet operates like a fist, the couplers that connect railroad cars look like the curled fingers on two hands hooking together. She gave me a polite “Oh, okay, Dad” and left the room.
Are her video games disconnecting her from reality?
Two Different Conversations
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Dear T.D.C.,
It’s fine to pretend to be apart from one’s reality for a while. A video game, a book or graphic novel, or a good movie provides entertainment and escape, and sometimes education. The Oregon Trail video game, first released in 1985, is a good example of using historically accurate items and actions to pull players into the past. But players should understand that clicking a few keys on the keyboard is not the same as actually replacing a broken wagon wheel, nor are they really suffering from dysentery.
Fantasy is a fine place to visit. However we live in a 3-dimensional world. Well, four dimensions if you count time. (Games and YouTubes of games can be paused as well as replayed over and over – defying actual time.)
How much balance does your daughter get between screen time and the real world?
Too Much is Too Much
There has been concern about the effects of excessive use of screen time on children ever since the advent of television. For one, there is consumerism behind it. The goal of advertisers is to tempt viewers to buy products. YouTubers appeal to their fans to pay for memberships to support them. Even Public Television flashes the names of companies as sponsors and solicits viewers to send in membership fees and donations.
Secondly, the content may distort reality with excessive violence, gender and other stereotypes, and an emphasis on winning. Life doesn’t hand out gold coins every time you successfully solve a problem.
Then there are health concerns related to sitting in front of a screen for too long including inadequate exercise, less time in the fresh air, reliance on easy-to-grab junk food, intrusion on sleep time, and the possibility of screen addiction. This can occur if time limits aren’t set and enforced by parents.
So Much More
What interests can you discern from your daughter’s choices in video games? Help her explore these through “real” means, perhaps in a club or class with other children. Or turn an interest of hers into a family pastime. This is a good age to cultivate a hobby that could carry through the rough years of adolescence ahead.
Take hints from the games she plays to latch onto topics from outdoor survival (go camping!), to rocket building (there are monthly launches of model rockets at the NASA- Goddard Visitor Center in Greenbelt), to animals (there are real ones at zoos, farms, the SPCA, and pet stores!), to dinosaurs (find real fossils at Dinosaur Park and Calvert Cliffs) and so much more.
If you follow her lead she might reciprocate by obliging your interest in engineering with a trip to the Baltimore Museum of Industry to marvel at local images and artifacts of the Industrial Revolution. Maybe the two of you could start an after school tinkering club?
Screen Free Week
Across the world families are being challenged to spend a week without screens. Screen-Free Week, May 1-7, 2023, “allows people to enjoy time away from news feeds, targeted ads, and autoplay videos, and gives families and communities an opportunity to come together and connect with each other.” Your ten-year-old isn’t the only one who needs a little help with breaking away from the artificial and manipulative world of screens.
What to do instead?
Start a vegetable garden. Grow crystals. Bake bread. Put up a bluebird box. Fly a kite. Look for the planets in the evening sky. Make a difference for a pet waiting to be adopted from the S.P.C.A. by making a toy to stimulate their brains. The webpage also has recipes for treats you can make and donate.
Fill the week with real activities. Mix in some friends.
Video games and their characters can seem “real” to the game player, but it is important to keep children grounded in reality.
Dr. Debbie
Deborah Wood, Ph.D. is a child development specialist and founding director of Chesapeake Children’s Museum. She will be presenting Zoom workshops for parents on Mondays 7-9 pm, May 8: Dinosaurs Divorce, May 22: The Skin You Live In.
The museum is open with online reservations or call: 410-990-1993. Each Thursday there is a guided nature walk at 10:30 am.
Read more of Dr. Wood’s Good Parenting columns by clicking here.
