What does it take?

Becoming a foster parent is a journey that requires time and commitment. Social Services offers regular information sessions for potential foster parents. If interested parties choose to move forward, they must complete 20 to 30 hours of foster parent training and submit to a criminal background check. Social Services also conducts interviews and an in-depth home study to determine whether the environment is ready to accept children.

If a family is approved as a foster family, they may be called almost immediately with a placement, and families must be flexible.

“There is no situation that is a guaranteed long-term placement. We have a foster mom that has fostered 12 times and has never had the opportunity to adopt, but we have many families that adopt the first child they foster,” Meringolo says.

Although adoption is a frequent outcome, the initial goal in a foster placement is always reunification with biological family. “Our families have said time and again how rewarding it can be when they see a family reunifying. They have provided a safe and stable home for the child, but they can also be the biggest cheerleader for this child and their biological family,” Meringolo says.

Potential foster parents need to consider things like expenses and time requirements for medical appointments or parental visitation. The state provides families with a stipend that fulfills the basic needs of a foster child and medical care is covered by the state. But often the expense can go beyond what is provided.

“We never want financial concerns to be a barrier in fostering,” Pfister says. “We make sure that a family can handle the financial expectations and we do expect the family to treat a foster child the way they would treat their own child.”

Challenges and rewards

Foster parents provide more than just a safe home environment for a child. Often a child will need extra help as they navigate emotional and even physical challenges.

Susan Turner recalls fostering a baby who had spent the first fifteen months of his life in a playpen and had missed most major milestones. “Some children are living in the shadow of addiction, so it is important to try to help the child through early intervention.”

The state can help coordinate early intervention, physical therapy and emotional counseling for any foster child free of charge. Children also need the emotional support of foster parents to help them deal with the feelings of sadness, confusion and anger that may be present. “Many of these children arrive with some emotional trauma—they want to see their parents and they are confused,” Turner says. “You really become their emotional support system.”

Despite its challenges, Lindsay Compitello and her husband, Tom, believe that fostering can change lives. The couple, who already had three children of their own, began fostering in 2014 after talking with friends who were in the process.

“We had friends that were doing it and I remember saying, ‘You mean I get to watch and hold and love a baby that needs it?’” Lindsay says with a laugh.

After completing the necessary training, Lindsay waited for their first placement as Tom left for military deployment overseas. Just before Christmas 2014, they accepted a newborn baby girl named Maggie into their home. One month after that, Lindsay got a call for a four-year-old girl who needed a home.

Four-year-old Coco fit right in. “It was seamless,” says Lindsay. “Coco was only six months apart from our own daughter and that first day the girls just sat down and began playing dolls together.”

For parents who worry how their biological children would adjust to foster children, most foster parents say it is their own kids who are benefitting most.

“One of the main reasons we continued to foster was because our biological son was so great with these kids. He has changed diapers, given up his time, and helped with every one of them—he loves it,” Turner says.

Compitello’s three children welcomed their new sisters with open arms from day one. “Kids don’t think as much as adults do. My kids didn’t ask that many questions. They accepted it and moved on and they knew before we did that we would adopt the girls. They thought of them as their sisters from the very beginning.”

Today the Stevens, Turner and Compitello families credit foster care with the gift of their newfound families. Each of them says they would do it again without hesitation.

“I would advise anyone thinking about it to go for it,” Stevens says. “You don’t have to be a traditional family and there is so much support.”

Compitello agrees. “Don’t believe the stories you hear,” she says. “We are a normal family and we aren’t doing this to make money. This is real. These kids are real, and all they are looking for is love, and the families doing it—we are just regular families. Real people becomefoster families.”

For more information about how to become a foster parent in Maryland, call 888-635-4372. In Anne Arundel County, visit annearundelfostercare.com or call 410-897-3909.

*Some names have been changed for privacy concerns.

—Katie Riley