Dear Dr. Debbie,
My six-year-old is obsessed with football. (Last year it was firefighting. When he was four he wanted to be Spiderman.) He talks about playing in the NFL. I don’t know if he’s much of an athlete, though. Should we encourage this? Neither my husband nor I were athletically inclined as kids and figure his chances of becoming a professional player are pretty slim.
Hazy Future
Dear H.F.,
It’s good to have interests as well as dreams for one’s future. The work of Rick Miller, founder of Kids at Hope provides a framework for understanding how childhood dreams, and the adults who help children dream them, influence a successful future. School districts and other youth-serving organizations are using this framework to surround children with the belief that they are ALL capable of success, no exceptions. Annapolis Elementary has produced a quick introduction to the Kids at Hope framework, outlining the Four Destinations and how various adults can play important roles in a child’s life.
Parents, of course, control a lot about what happens in childhood. But other adults can help, too. As you support your child’s changing dreams, think of recruiting teachers, coaches, scout leaders, parents of your child’s friends, and other adults in the community and in the family to bring focus to what his future destinations might look like.
Education and Career
It’s common to ask a child about career interests. But what does the path to get there look like? Way before training camp, an eventual NFL player probably played the game with friends and likely joined a community team. Leagues for soccer and other sports may start for players as young as three-years-old, however, for football, for safety reasons, a player must be at least twelve before the start of the season for Anne Arundel County Recreation and Parks. A good player may be recruited in high school for a college scholarship which could lead to an outstanding player being selected for a professional team. For now, you might use this interest to promote a strong body through healthy eating and getting a good night’s sleep!
Other career destinations have paths as well. For example, an interest in marine biology could be supported with books from the library, visits to a local pet store (possibly acquiring a pet the family takes care of), or family outings to the National Aquarium. You can learn a lot about local marine life just by going fishing and crabbing! Along the way a future marine biologist can meet adults already in the field to learn about what they do on the job and what life experiences and training led them there. There is a plethora of jobs in this field from seafood inspectors to habitat conservationists. If a college degree or two are required, a child can use this as motivation to do well in school.
Community and Service
We do things as adults that provide a benefit to others beyond ourselves and our families. It’s just part of being a good neighbor, a good citizen, and a good human being.
Does your family participate in volunteer service through your school, religious organization, or community organization? Just starting with conversations about being kind to others can open a child’s eyes to ways that anyone can brighten someone else’s day. Habitual recycling and being litter conscious can make a difference for the environment. When children become aware of how and why adults participate in our electoral process, they can begin to envision themselves taking part.
Find opportunities to show your child ways that you and other adults he knows are doing things to make the world a better place.
Home and Family
What are the models that your child has seen to help him picture his future homelife? Picture books are an excellent way to explore living in a city versus living in the country as well as life in different countries. Some adults never move from where their parents and grandparents grew up. At the other extreme are people who change homes many times.
Family composition also differs in many ways. Your child’s future may include having a partner, having a child or children, having pets, or living with three generations in one household. Friends’ families can provide good examples not only of who lives in the home, but how they relate to one another. He might see different models of family dinner time practices. He might experience different cultural traditions. A variety of models helps a child to compare his current family life with other possibilities.
Hobbies and Recreation
Childhood should be full of fun. When you help your child do things “just for fun” and show him adults who also enjoy football, or other passing interests of his, you are sowing the seeds for lifelong well-being. Successful adults carve out time for hobbies and recreation. Point out the adults in your family’s social circle who enjoy the game of football – whether as a spectators or as players. As other interests emerge in the coming years, find ways to support them while also introducing your child to the many ways that adults also enjoy these interests. Just for fun.
In Annapolis there’s an adult league for Flag Football. Socializing after the games is part of the fun. Tennis buffs volunteer with the Tennis Alliance of Anne Arundel County to share their love of the game with others, as young as age three. They have Adaptive sessions for those with vision impairments, players who use wheelchairs, and athletes who compete in Special Olympics.
Time Travel
The Kids at Hope framework asserts that when a child can mentally travel to his future in these four destinations, with the support of his surrounding adults, his future is bright. It doesn’t matter if he actually “arrives” at the precise images formed in childhood. Dreaming of a great future helps a child find success wherever life takes him.
Dr. Debbie
Write your question to Dr. Debbie! Please include age(s) of your child(ren) and other details about the situation or concern.
Deborah Wood, Ph.D. is a child development specialist and founding director of Chesapeake Children’s Museum, located at 25 Silopanna Road in Annapolis.
CCM is open from 10 am to 4 pm daily. Online reservations are available or call: 410-990-1993. Walk-ins are welcome. Each Thursday there is a guided nature walk at 10:30 am. Art and Story Time with Mrs. Spears and Puppy the Puppet is on Monday mornings at 10:30 am.
Make a plan to come to the 35th annual Kunta Kinte Heritage Festival on Saturday, September 13 at the Navy-Marine Corps Stadium from 10 am to 7 pm. Chesapeake Children’s Museum, the Sankofa Children’s Museum of African Cultures, the Performing Arts Center of African Cultures, and Wild Kid Acres are collaborating to present Kujifunza (Learning) Zone with: a goat petting pen, interactive storytelling, a rhythm circle, crafts, an obstacle course across the African continent, and a Time Machine (to travel to Future Destinations). Admission is free.
