Welcome to Good Parenting, our weekly online series on parenting advice with Annapolis, Maryland, expert Dr. Deborah Wood.
Improper Speech
Dear Dr. Debbie,
Is this normal? My three-year-old says, “Mariah likes oatmeal!” when she is talking about herself. Will she outgrow this before other children think she’s weird or could it be a sign of a language disorder?
Mommy Doesn’t Talk Like That
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Dear Mommy,
Your signature reveals the likely source of her confusion. Speaking about oneself in the third person is indeed weird (or the habit of celebrities). A speech and language pathologist would need more evidence than substituting proper names for pronouns to conclude that a child has abnormal language processing. If this is Mariah’s only “quirk” with language she will soon adjust her speech patterns to be more like that of her playmates.
I wonder if Mariah has often heard you refer to yourself in the third person, as in “Bring that to Mommy”? And maybe you have similarly used such phrases as “Let’s get Mariah’s coat on!” when it is only the two of you there. I have heard teachers and parents with this improper usage even with children older than four. Personally – and distinctly remembering what it sounded like to me when I was a preschooler – I feel it’s demeaning to the child to imply that unless you name yourself or her, she wouldn’t know to whom you are referring.
A third person in the room can properly say to your daughter, “Bring that to Mommy.” But when the conversation is between you and her, you should use “I/Me/ My” and “You/Your.” Practice saying “Bring that to me” and “I will get your coat on” until it sounds right.
Try spending more time with other adults and children – by joining a play group, for example – and you will both find opportunities to hone your language skills!
Dr. Debbie
Deborah Wood is a child development specialist in Annapolis. She holds a doctorate in Human Development from the University of Maryland at College Park and is founding director of the Chesapeake Children’s Museum. Long time fans and new readers can find many of her “Understanding Children” columns archived on the Chesapeake Family Magazine website. You can find her online at drdebbiewood.com.
What do you think? Leave your thoughts in the comments or submit a question to Dr. Debbie at Betsy@jecoannapolis.com
