I’m not going to pretend that I have anything in life figured out at all. But this past year especially has taught me (and probably everyone else on the globe) a lot about handling each hard thing as it comes. Day by day. Hour by hour. Sometimes minute by minute.
I have a full image of Olivia Pope from Scandal as I take care of all of the things. Yes, that actually is handled. Dinner, handled. Difficult client, handled. Clothes in the dryer, handled. Meeting with the accountant, handled. Settlement, handled. Mail opening, handled. Uniform, washed. Car, purchased. Vacation, planned. Will, check. Insurance, increased. School pickup, done.
It is a relentless cycle of big and small and consuming and constant. Kids and bills and work and life. Adulting, handled.
I didn’t use to be that great at handling all of the things. Hell, I am not really all that great at handling them all at all times now. But the biggest difference is that I have chosen to take the blinders down. The bills will come whether my head is in the sand or not. Praying that they go away or living in denial of them does not shift the reality of their existence. I realized there will never be a fairy godmother. There is no prince charming or magic wand. The carriage needs an oil change and a full tank of gas and the mail needs to be handled and the one in charge of that is no one else but me. There was no one to rescue me but me.
Not all that long ago there was a little over a hundred dollars in my bank account and four kids that I needed to raise. They knew the space of struggle and I wanted to show them the stage of rising above.
I needed to not just become the fixer but own the cape and carry the crown.
I needed to become everything that was on the other side of fear.
That fear is powerful and relentless. And if you aren’t careful, it can consume your life and build a wall between you and your happiness. It can dictate your relationships, your work, your future. We often think that we are stuck and powerless in so many of our day to day decisions but the truth is, we are often just too afraid to do anything about changing them. You deserve to live your best, most brilliant life. You only get the one so what would you do differently if you took that fear on and go straight for what was on the other side of it? What gifts are you ignoring because you are scared of rejection? What relationship are you enduring because you are scared to speak up for what you want and deserve? What will happen if you stopped playing things safe and small and quiet and thought bigger and louder and took up more space? What life are you avoiding because you are afraid of the struggle to get where you always meant to be?
And as it turns out, if you keep showing up and doing the right, hard things again and again, it all becomes less and less scary. Maybe you didn’t think you were smart enough or strong enough or capable enough or perhaps someone else always made you feel like you were less than and I need you to forgive yourself for believing such bold ugly lies. You can and need to allow this beautiful truth to happen: you can go after anything that you want. You can handle it. And another beautiful truth emerges as a brilliant side effect: you will make yourself proud. No one else needed to do the hard things for you. The happily ever after is that you were enough all along.
This year I am crossing off items on my bucket list. My kids are not only watching but they are along for the ride. All of the struggle and scary and unknown was worth it to feel the elation and pride that comes from never ever giving up.
Living our best and brilliant and challenging lives… handled.
Read more blogs by Katie Moore here.
Katie Yackley Moore is a freelance writer, real estate agent, yoga instructor and a momma of four navigating life and a separation and finding herself in the process. She adores coffee shops, laughing until it hurts and impromptu dance parties. Her work has appeared on Scary Mommy, Mamalode and HuffPost Parents. She has published a journal entitled “Dream a Bigger Dream” and the children’s books “You Are a Warrior” and “We are Family” and just finished her first novel. Catch up with her between tea breaks at The Naked Momma and on Facebook.