I think it is high time that we had a little talk about success.
In particular, about owning it without excuse or apology.
I recently was talking to and congratulating a female colleague of mine who had a truly strong and inspiring sales year. She didn’t miss a beat in explaining that the reason for it is because she is single and doesn’t have kids so she has more time to work.
The year before I was talking and congratulating another female colleague of mine who also had an incredible year and she said, “I just got lucky.”
If I were to congratulate ten other women from successes ranging from their career to their dinner party to their parenting skills, I would hear ten other explanations. Usually beginning with a thank you, followed by a but. Thank you but because of Covid I had more time to dedicate to my clients… thank you but I still fail all the time… thank you but all of the dessert is store bought… thank you but I feel like now I barely see my kids… thank you but I don’t know what is going to happen next year.
Ladies. No. Please stop doing this. Please don’t make your achievements smaller than they are. Please don’t justify them or shadow them in excuses instead of making them shine because of your own admirable work ethic and determination.
Your success did not happen overnight and it did not happen because you got lucky or because you have more time. Even if we have never met, I know enough about you to know that is not true. Your success is because of an endless number of micro decisions that you make every single day. It is a choice to pick up the phone. It is a choice to say yes when someone else would say no. It is a choice to wake up an hour earlier. It is a choice to put care and thought into how you treat someone else. It is a choice to show up. It is a choice in who you surround yourself with. It is a choice to leave and a choice to stay. It is a choice in how you carry yourself in the world. It is a choice to rise, to let go and to never give up no matter how many left hooks are thrown at you.
How are we going to keep paving the way for future girls to break glass ceilings if we are consistently hiding our crowns in the corners?
Own it. All of it.
The scars, the laugh lines, the wrinkles, the paychecks, the failures, the lessons, the long days and the short years. And especially the crowns.
Own it. And if they stare or talk about you in ways that attempt to dull your shine, let them. They are typically not the ones that are paying your bills.
I started my career after being a stay at home for twelve years while going through a difficult divorce and had no money. I wouldn’t say that failing wasn’t an option. Failing was in fact, my only option. I fell in trenches of rock bottoms gripping onto mud covered walls. It was a choice to hold on. A choice to not stay down. A choice to always seek the path upward no matter how far out of grip it appeared. Failing forward became my backbone.
There is a Japanese proverb that reads, “Fall seven times. Stand up eight.”
You are a success because you keep standing up. Celebrate the rise no matter how many times you tripped on the landing. No apologizing for it either dear one.
Own it. Every day is a hard earned battle and another opportunity to make yourself proud so let’s start celebrating all of the good things that you do and all of the success that you are.
Make yourself proud queen. Chances are the people that you surround yourself with, already are.