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Home Ages and Stages High School Mom, I’m Gay: What to do When Your Child Comes Out

Mom, I’m Gay: What to do When Your Child Comes Out

Finding ways to support your gay or lesbian child may be difficult for some parents. Teenagers are coming out of the closet at younger and younger ages—some teens are coming out in high school… while some gay and lesbian students are coming out as early as middle school.

When your child is gay, you may feel that your world has changed and that you’re alone. But you’re not, and your gay or lesbian teenager needs your support now more than ever. There are ways to support your gay teenager when your child comes out of the closet and as he or she grows more comfortable with his or her sexuality.


Leesa Nixon was worried she’d never have grandchildren.5mom_im_gay

“I want someone I can spoil rotten and send home so they can act like [my children] did.” Moreover, her 17-year-old son Jordan is her “lookalike child,” he and Nixon are the only blondes in a sea of dark-haired siblings.

That’s why she cried when, at 14,  Jordan told her he was gay.

And then the North Carolina blogger and mom (you can read her at FagHagMom.blogspot.com or follow her on Twitter at FagHagMom) began to get really scared. “I was afraid that someone would kill him or hurt him. When Jordan came out to me, he told me he was coming out at school.”

Things were tough at school at first. “When he first came out, they would call him ‘faggot’ on the bus and say really hurtful things to him,” she remembers. “[Other students] have spit on him when he got off the bus.”

Things have improved, however, as school officials have shown they’ve been willing to work with both Jordan and Nixon. During a three-day field trip to the beach, there was some confusion as to where Jordan should room—with the boys or with the girls. “At first, I said to put him with the girls. Then I said to put him with the boys—he’s gay, not a rapist.” During a school trip to Washington, Jordan roomed with other boys, no questions asked.

When prom rolled around, Jordan’s boyfriend, Chase (who he’s been dating since 2008), wanted to take Jordan to Chase’s senior prom. At first, the school refused. “I don’t like discrimination,” says Nixon. “And I don’t like violations of constitutional rights.” The school quickly changed their policy, and Jordan and Chase were allowed to go to prom together.

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