Movie Review: The Tourist (PG-13)


the-tourist-movie-poster-1020560246by Mary McCarthy, Editor

It’s going to be nearly impossible to write this review without talking about Angelina Jolie’s lipstick.

Also, I am going to make a confession.

Normally, when doing a movie review, you are really not supposed to read any other movie reviews. I had my notes from the film and already knew what I’d be saying, though- when I sort of accidentally stumbled upon a few headlines about the movie being completely panned by reviewers. Rotten tomatoes? Are flying everywhere.

I am here to tell you to ignore the critics- most of them are a bunch of nerdy middle aged white men who are generally cranky anyway.


Florian Henckel von Donnersmarck (of the popular psychological thriller The Lives of Others) directed The Tourist starring Hollywood glitterati Johnny Depp and Anjelina Jolie.

Is it annoying that the director spends too much time reminding filmgoers how amazingly gorgeous Angelina Jolie is? Yeah, a little. Her hair and makeup and clothes are stunning! She can strut in heels like it’s her job! (It sort of is her job.) Enough with the closeups already! WE GET IT! She’s got more swagger than a Pirate of the Caribbean in this film. But that is truly a minor annoyance, and it’s definitely coming from my perspective as a nerdy, cranky middle aged woman.

Johnny Depp is the most ‘normal’ he’s ever been in this film as he plays a schoolteacher from Wisconsin. No scissors for hands, no mad hats, no pirate eyeliner. Just Johnny. And it’s nice. I like his sort of aw-shucks character and also think he’s really powerful in a subtle way in this role. In addition to perfect accents, I think they have sizzly chemistry (how can they not?! They’re Depp and Jolie!) and the action-filled movie is absolutely fun to watch. In addition to its pure romance, there is an almost Pink Panther-esque humor to the film which is enjoyable. The plot and script? FANTASTIC.

Steven Berkoff is completely convincing as the evil villain international murderous gangster Shaw (Steven Berkoff) and appearances by Timothy Dalton and others round out a nice acting ensemble. Without going into too many plot details, suffice it to say money’s been stolen, identities have been mixed up, and there is making out (though not enough in my opinion- it’s Depp and Jolie! Go for the R rating, I say!). ‘Nuff said. I am not normally a fan of the whole ‘spy intrigue action film’ but this one had my attention from start to incredible finish.

Is there some awkward pacing at times? Yeah, but not in an awful way. I don’t care WHAT the critics or the Rotten Tomatoes people are saying, I think this is a movie not to miss.

Also? While her acting may not be flawless, the lipstick of Angelina Jolie definitely is.

The Tourist is rated PG-13 for sexual innuendo, some language, and violence. I’d say it’s fine for kids over 13 if not a mature 12 year old as well.