As a licensed clinical professional counselor (LCPC) who provides outpatient therapy for both kids and adults, Kyle Kunkel has a unique perspective on parenthood.
Kunkel lives in Annapolis with her husband, Joshua, their son, Asher (7) and their two dogs, Kempton and Colby. She provides outpatient therapy services both online and in person from her Glen Burnie office.
Here, Kunkel discusses what she loves about her career, the joys of parenting and the value of putting yourself first.
What do you love about being a parent?
Everything. From the minute I knew he was inside of me, I’ve just continued being so proud to be his mom. I love the responsibility that I have to grow a respectful, kind human being.
What do you love about your [work as a therapist?]
I love helping people find out who they are and build on what they love about themselves, and work on what doesn’t serve them. I think changing the way we communicate with one another, changing the way we see people— the way that we communicate with one another and deciding how to then respond—is one of the most powerful things that we have as a society. I want to keep spreading the knowledge that I have on relationships and [keep] helping people feel more in control of their life than they’ve ever thought possible.
How do you balance your career and parenting?
I had to practice. I had to practice the boundaries for myself of realizing that being a mom comes first for me, and I understand that I am privileged to be able to even say that. I’ve had to manage my time to shorten my work hours [because] it’s important for me to drop Asher off at school as often as I can, and then work from 8:30 [a.m.] to 2 [p.m.] so I can go get him from school and then do homework, and playing, and making dinner together and having mealtime together.
It really came of trial and error because I like to work, but I was finding I was getting burnt out when I didn’t choose to be a mom first.
What is one thing you want your child to learn from you?
I really want him to know that he matters more than anybody else because the way we feel about ourselves and treat ourselves shows on the outside. I want him to understand who he is and find ways that he loves who he is and is not ashamed to be selfish.
The way we feel about ourselves is how we portray ourselves to the outside world, and we tend to get that reflected back. If I have low self-esteem, I’m not really expecting people to treat me very well—I’m used to already treating myself poorly, so I’m going to accept poor behavior from other people.
But if I put myself first, have my boundaries, [fill] my self-esteem, I won’t tolerate somebody speaking to me in a way that I wouldn’t speak to myself, and I won’t tolerate being around other people who treat other people that way because it doesn’t feel good to me.
Family Favorites
Meal: We don’t have one favorite meal. We all enjoy dinner together, and it’s really important in our family, but my husband and Asher love meatballs while I hate meatballs and love tacos. We just enjoy one another, and we all try the different things.
Dessert: I love chocolate, my husband doesn’t like chocolate and Asher likes sour.
Vacation spot: Soccer destinations. We’re planning a European soccer tour in the winter, and we are going to attempt to see Lionel Messi for a third time.
Local spot: Here in Annapolis, we have the Annapolis Blues, so again we’re crazy soccer fans. We make a whole thing about it. We’ll set up with friends, we’ll tailgate, the kids will play soccer and then we’ll support our local team.
Home activity: Card games! We just sat yesterday and played Uno and Crazy Eights for six hours.
Some answers have been edited for length and clarity.
