With the excitement and first-day jitters of the new school year now in our rearview mirror, it is important to recognize that whether it be starting at a new school, making new friends or the looming pressure of college applications, kids are managing a lot of emotions throughout the school year. We spoke with Adam Miller, LCPC, LPC and manager of the Klein Family Center at the University of Maryland Upper Chesapeake Health to learn about how parents can recognize school year stressors in their child and help kids manage them to support a happy and healthy school year.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
What are the warning signs or indicators that a child is feeling stressed or anxious during the school year?
There are three main areas to keep an eye on: physical, emotional and behavioral. Physical manifestations of anxiety or stress during the school year can include sleep disturbance, nightmares, sleep pattern changes, appetite — increase or decrease, belly/stomach aches and an increase or decrease in energy levels. Emotional signs that kids are experiencing unusual amounts of stress or anxiety include worry and/or fear regarding school and around certain subjects [or] sadness, withdrawal, self-criticism. Sometimes, there are also behavioral changes as well, including school avoidance, stomach/belly aches and avoiding school social situations. Teachers may also report some of these behaviors and difficulty concentrating.
How can parents help minimize stress in kids during the school year?
First, be invested and connected to their school. It is important for parents and schools to work together to support [kids’] mental health. Attend back-to-school nights and parent-teacher conferences. Initiate engagement with school staff, counselors, social workers, and check in with [their] school by asking for meetings or classroom observation if they feel [it’s] necessary. Secondly, establish a good routine and structure, including sleep routines and patterns, and prepare the night before for school, including clothes, backpacks and lunches. Third is communication. Be open to talk about feelings, actively listen to your child, acknowledge feelings and ask questions. Communication opens doors to talk about our own experiences, which makes us more relatable to our kids and shows that it is alright to talk about these things.
What can older children do to self-manage stress or anxiety associated with the school year?
Middle school- and high school -aged kids want autonomy — the increased opportunity and trust to make their own choices. Parents can help them build confidence by providing bumpers for kids to start having that autonomy. Start by talking about expectations and routines. Then, when appropriate, let kids make those choices so that they have some control. It is important for parents to still have control and be involved but work with the child on what they need and give them extra support or give them some space.
What are some effective coping strategies parents can teach their children?
Effective coping skills are both universal and age-specific. For younger children, taking time away to calm down and relax can help. It is also important for parents to let kids know that it is alright to be frustrated, step back and then come back and try again. For older children, coping skills can include some of these same things, but because of their developmental stage, they may also need peer stimulation and engagement for coping.
Balancing their social needs with work is important. The bottom line is that effective coping strategies can be as individual as each child. Parents should stay tuned in to know what their child needs and develop a list of coping skills for different situations.
What can parents put in place to support strong mental health in their children throughout the school year?
The foundation is to build and maintain a strong relationship. Spend time together, especially on activities that support them in their interests. This fosters the opportunity to have good active listening, validate emotions and to discuss challenges and concerns. Also, continue to establish routine and structure, as consistency is important — even through weekends and holidays to some degree, as change in this will impact kids. Establish healthy habits as a family. This includes limiting screen time, good sleep routine, nutrition, activity and building social connections. As kids get older, allow for more autonomy when age-appropriate and safe, which will foster confidence in your child.
Lisa Clough is a health journalist and Certified Health Education Specialist.
