Dear Dr. Debbie,
Our ten-month-old just spent a week in the hospital with a Respiratory Syncytial Virus (RSV) infection. Needless to say it was very distressing for her with an oxygen mask, a heart monitor, and an IV for fluids.
I’m exhausted. My mother and I took turns holding her as much as was possible. And I was able to nurse her which was helpful in calming her. Otherwise she’d cry for most of the time unless she was fitfully sleeping.
Now that we’re recuperating back at home, I’m wondering about long-term psychological effects she may have from having been in the hospital. The people were very nice, but the baby was definitely not happy.
Glad That’s Over
Dear G.T.O.,
In case anyone is wondering whether a child of 10-months can remember a traumatic event, such as the hospital stay your little one experienced, the answer is, “Yes, she can.” It won’t be in words because she doesn’t have access to words yet.
Caregiver Calm
Before a baby has words, she has senses and emotions. In addition to IV needles and other intrusions to her body, she experienced movement restrictions amidst unfamiliar people and strange surroundings. This scary experience will certainly be remembered as sensations and emotions.
It’s good that your baby had both her mother and grandmother in addition to attentive hospital staff to address her care and comfort. Now that it’s over, you can continue to be the calming agent that reassures her regularly that all is okay.
In any crisis, a child relies on her grown-ups to stay in control. How do you do this when you’re stressed out yourself? The analogy here is to put on your own proverbial “oxygen mask” so you can help your baby contend with her real one. In other words, take care of your emotional needs through your support network (family and friends, and the friends you make with trusted medical personnel) and with active physical care of yourself.
Now that the storm has passed, continue to make use of whatever supports you need so you can support your little one effectively. She’s been through a lot.
Play Hospital
Does your baby have a baby doll or stuffed animal? Use this to act out hospital scenes with you playing the roles of the staff, yourself, and Grandma, until your daughter gets the hang of it and can help out. Props may have to be imaginary since your little one is likely to put everything in her mouth, but maybe you can gather up some baby-safe items to mimic the equipment that was used on her. Aquarium tubing or just a length of cloth ribbon can be the IV drip. Here’s a clever video by the Children’s Museum of Cleveland for making a stethoscope and other medical tools with things from around the house.
Re-tell the story of what happened at the hospital as your child gains enough vocabulary over the next year or two to be able to tell the story herself. Make a picture book about the family’s journey with RSV using images off the internet (in case you didn’t take any pictures!). Use a loose-leaf notebook and plastic sheet protectors to make a baby-friendly book to read together as often as she’d like.
The important parts of this story are that Mommy took care of her baby – through getting her to the hospital, holding and nursing her, etc., and other caring people did, too. The baby didn’t like what was happening, but her body and the people and the medicine helped her to get well. The various medical procedures and equipment are incidental; however they add details to the story that explain how these caring and committed people conquered the disease. And that’s the happy ending of the story.
Prevention and Watchfulness
Your family’s experience provides a good opportunity to educate other parents and caregivers about RSV prevention, symptoms, and treatment. According to expert advice from Children’s Hospital Los Angeles, RSV is prevalent among infants and children especially this time of year. The virus is highly contagious and most risky for the very young and the elderly and anyone in between with heart or lung conditions. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) estimates that nearly all children will have had the disease by the age of two years, although most only have mild cold-like symptoms.
The best prevention is to stay away from sick people. Hand-washing is always a good idea for everyone a baby comes in contact with. Since RSV germs can live on surfaces for several hours, consider wiping down furniture, toys, and other objects shared among the family and others. RSV germs can spread in the air, especially with coughs and sneezes which are common symptoms. Be sure to use a tissue for sneezes and your inner elbow for coughs. Safely dispose of tissues and wash hands afterwards. Respiratory germs can be blocked from traveling person-to-person with medical face masks. Check that everyone is up-to-date on vaccinations for RSV and other winter-time menaces. The more time we spend indoors, due to cold weather, the greater the chances are for catching a virus.
The Mayo clinic lists RSV symptoms for older children and adults as: runny nose or nasal congestion, dry cough, low-grade fever, sore throat, sneezing, and headache. For infants, the CDC will add symptoms of: irritability, eating/drinking less, and apnea (pauses in breathing for more than 10 seconds).
Your pediatric office may advise you to keep the patient hydrated with fluids and a humidifier. More severe symptoms – such as labored breathing – may warrant an office visit or a trip to the emergency room.
Help your daughter to process her scary experience as a lesson in disease prevention (which isn’t always possible), medical resources (which can be life-saving as well as tenderly caring), and a mother’s (and grandmother’s) therapeutic love.
Here’s a great quote from Louisa May Alcott, “I’m not afraid of storms, for I’m learning how to sail my ship.” You and your little one are learning a lot from this chapter of your lives.
Dr. Debbie
Deborah Wood, Ph.D. is a child development specialist and founding director of Chesapeake Children’s Museum.
The museum is open daily from 10 am to 4 pm. Online reservations are available or call: 410-990-1993. Each Thursday there is a guided nature walk at 10:30 am. Art and Story Times with Mrs. Spears and Puppy the Puppet are on Monday mornings at 10:30 am.
