Dear Dr. Debbie,
My husband and I are planning what we hope is a fun excursion with our 12-year-old and 15-year-old that will include time in the car – two hours out and two hours back. When they were younger we could sing songs, play “I Spy”, and stop occasionally to run around and use restrooms.
Nowadays the kids tend to spend car time, and frankly most time, glued to electronic devices. It’s hard to get conversation going, especially with the 15-year-old.
What can we bring with us or plan on doing for some satisfying family time in the car?
Please Turn Off Devices
Dear P.T.O.D.,
There’s no guarantee that a good time will be had by all on even a well-planned family outing. Tweens and teens are particularly tough to impress with historic sites, art treasures, theatrical performances, or even breath-taking scenic vistas.
However, with a little planning, including all family members, a day trip in the family car can be very satisfying.
Food and Drink
A long car ride should consider an appropriate schedule for snacks and meals. Include everyone in the food planning and packing.
Relax your rules about drips and crumbs, especially for a long trip that has everyone up and out before breakfast. Take along fruit, veggies, popcorn, string cheese, hard boiled eggs, muffins, and other perfectly nutritious nibbles. Personal water bottles can be partly filled and frozen the night before with water added before leaving.
Plan ahead for a restaurant meal on the way or at the destination. Or pack a picnic for in the car or for when you arrive. Use the same planning for the way home. In any case, you are in better control of the spending and the family’s nutrition if you consider your options ahead of time.
Snap and Share
It’s tough to separate today’s youth, and even a lot of adults, from our screens. Let’s compromise. Cell phone cameras can capture the day’s experiences to share with each other and with family and friends. Even while the car is on the road, everyone who isn’t driving can contribute to a travelogue, to assemble with captions on the family text chain on the way back.
Destination
Hopefully the family has at least been informed, if not included in the decision of where they’re going and has some interest in the destination. (Family dinner conversation can sometimes lead to ideas for future trips!) Use time before the trip, or a little screen time in the car, to learn about what the selected location has to offer. For example, a trip to Luray Caverns in Virginia has geology, history, imaginative naming for some of the rock formations, and a few new attractions at the site with families in mind.
Plan out what the group wants to do with the family’s time and money before you get there. An amount of spending money for each child, if any, is up to you, but this should be announced, and adhered to, before whining commences. Some destinations are totally free. Others have a parking fee. Still others have a per person admission fee. Assateague Island State Park, has a per car fee during the “off season” (Labor Day-Memorial Day) and a per person fee in summer. Some state parks now require reservations.
Check with your destination ahead of time for admission, parking, and other expected expenses so you can plan a budget for extras.
Car Games
There were games before video games. There have been family road trips, too, in which creative families found ways to pass the time and enjoy each other’s company. Even a teenager may find these entertaining.
- Find the States: Print out a list of every state in alphabetical order or a map of all the states. Watch out the window as you roll down the road, checking off the license plates you see. Look for states you’ve missed when you’re stopped in a parking lot. This can be a cooperative game with everyone (but the driver) taking turns for the transcriber role.
- I’m Going on a Picnic: Okay, I’ve played this game with preschoolers, but if the adults get into it, the progeny might just play along. First player says, “I’m going on a picnic and I’m going to bring . . .” and names something that starts with the letter “A”. The second player repeats what the first person said and adds something with the letter “B” and so on. For a group of fewer than 26 players, you just keep circulating around the car to add on to your alphabetically listed picnic items. (It’s okay to give hints to jog your fellow players’ memory.)
- Mad Libs: In this classic group game, players take turns to fill in missing words defined only as a “noun, verb, adjective, number, color,” etc. in a very short story. The reader, who has been asking for the missing words, then reads the story with the filled in words. This takes planning and printing ahead, or players can write the story with blanks using pencil and paper on a clipboard (or they can type out a story on their personal devices). Ready-made mad libs are also available online, either for printing ahead or searching up on screens in the car.
- Hinky Pinky: I learned this game of clues with a rhyming answer in Girl Scouts as a teenager. A “Hink Pink” has one syllable in each of the two words in the answer. A “Hinky Pinky” has two. Three syllables in each word is a “Hinkety Pinkety”. The clue giver says, “It’s a Hink Pink. What’s a person with orange hair?” The players guess the answer, which in this case is “Red Head”. The game can be as challenging as you want. Here’s a Hinkety Pinkety: What’s a story about your cousin? (A relative narrative!)
Snoozing
Everyone but the driver is allowed a little shut eye in the car. Pack neck pillows, or roll up a towel, to add comfort to a nap. Use sunglasses to minimize sunlight interference in the day time.
Typically tweens and teens struggle to get sufficient sleep as their body clocks shift toward later hours, so a long car ride may be the opportunity they need to catch up. Don’t take it personally that a snooze is preferable to a chat at this age.
Include a positive attitude in your preparations and you’ll be glad you took the trip.
Dr. Debbie
Write your question to Dr. Debbie! Please include age(s) of your child(ren) and other details about the situation or concern.
Deborah Wood, Ph.D. is a child development specialist and founding director of Chesapeake Children’s Museum, located at 25 Silopanna Road in Annapolis. Online reservations are available or call: 410-990-1993. Walk-ins are welcome. There is a Nature Walk on Thursdays at 10:30 am. Art and Story Time with Mrs. Spears and Puppy the Puppet is on Mondays at 10:30 am.
Kids ‘n’ Kaboodle, the totally free fair for all the children of Annapolis, will be held at Bates Athletic Complex, Saturday, June 6, from 12-4 pm. FREE everything: live entertainment, healthy food, pony rides, games, book giveaway, art activities, face painting, emergency vehicles, and other fun activities from community partners. Co-sponsored by City of Annapolis Recreation and Parks.
