Dear Dr. Debbie,
Our four-year-old proudly brings home at least one painting, drawing, construction or other artistic handiwork from school every day. Today it was a piece of green construction paper with other green pieces taped to it. The refrigerator is covered. The walls of the stairway to the basement are covered. The mantel is crowded with his 3-d creations.
I made the mistake of thinning out the display and he immediately noticed a piece was missing. Oops.
How do I help him manage his collection and his emotions about it?
Discerning Curator
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Dear DC,
Obviously your son’s artwork is important to him – at least in the moment he presents it to you and when he discovers a piece is missing. Your dilemma is how to continue to support a budding artist and also live with him.
“Tell Me About It”
Share in his excitement when he presents his daily output. He is sharing a part of his day away from you as a way to reconnect. Of course he had other fun experiences – on the playground, at Circle Time – but these moments are less easily carried home in a backpack.
Use his art as a way to start a conversation. An open-ended question, such as, “Tell me about it”, can get him started in putting the day’s memories into words. Maybe the piece relates to a picture book the teacher read. Maybe it’s an illustration of how he played dinosaurs with a new friend. Maybe he was really, really into green today.
Display It (Selectively)
Your home has limited exhibit space. One option is to pile up the week’s work, and before putting anything up, meet with the artist to review, and re-enjoy, everything in the pile. Then have him choose one old piece to take down and one new piece to replace it.
It may be that you have your own favorites among the eliminated pieces, in which case you are welcome to start a long-term storage file. Later, you could arrange a few pieces into a single display – professionally framed or DYI. If your little artist continues his prolific rate of production you could create one of these arrangements each year to highlight the themes, the various media and materials, and his developing skills.
Gift It
Are there grandparents or other special people who would love to receive, and even display, your son’s work? A child’s boldly colored drawing or painting brightens up any office space. Teach your son how the postal service works so that even when in-person gifting isn’t possible, he can show his love through his creations sent through the mail.
To add meaning for the recipient, ask your son to name or describe his illustration. This can be written on the work itself or in an accompanying note. If he is going to pursue an art career, even as a hobby, you can teach him this aspect of sharing his visual creations, and his emotions, with others.
Digitize It
A picture is worth a thousand words, but a digitized collection of pictures takes up very few gigabytes.
Your son might enjoy working with you to snap the photos, name and sort them into categories, or create a timeline. Then he can savor a trip to the digital gallery with you on a rainy day. Once he sees how his art can be preserved in this way, it should be easier for him to let go of the original pieces.
Witness It
There are developmental milestones that are observable in children’s artwork. Typically, a child first approaches crayons and markers with a fist grasp. (Chubby markers and crayons are best for toddlers.) Dots, dashes, and circular scribbles are the earliest marks on paper. Around two and a half to three years, closed shapes are identified as “Daddy’s Truck” or other significant objects from his real-life experiences. A circular shape gets eyes then a mouth to represent a beloved person. Arms and legs follow. More details with the passing months and years show fingers and eyelashes.
There are also stages of skill development with scissors. With time to practice them, these skills progress from a two-handed grip to the proper position of thumb and fingers. Snips become jagged lines. Lines take on curves, then angles, becoming more and more fluid as a child’s hand strength and dexterity improve.
You will witness an amazing progression in all media – crayon, paint, collage, 3-d works in cardboard or clay, etc. as your child’s mind undergoes its natural growth. The brain and hands work together to turn mental images – from memory as well as imagination – into physical forms. The simplest image, say, the “green-ness” of green paint or of green construction paper, is followed by more and more complex images over time. After an emotional experience your son can use art to express his feelings. His caption might read, “This is how we played in the sand and the waves took my beach ball and I was very sad.”
Accept and celebrate your son’s feelings about his artwork. He enjoys making it. He enjoys sharing it with you.
Art is an excellent means of emotional self-expression.
Said Paul Cezanne, the father of abstract art and cubism, “A work of art which did not begin in emotion is not art.”
Dr. Debbie
Deborah Wood, Ph.D. is a child development specialist and founding director of Chesapeake Children’s Museum. She will be presenting Zoom workshops for parents, on Mondays 7-9 pm, January 9: Good-for-You Food Fun; January 30: Temperament Differences.
The museum is open with online reservations or call: 410-990-1993.
Read more of Dr. Wood’s Good Parenting columns by clicking here.
