I know that you live only in two spaces right now, treading with your head just above the surface or submerged completely.
I know you don’t know what to do. I know your grief. I know your sleepless nights and your heavy days. I know how many times you have googled the signs. I know you are in purgatory. You just don’t know which decision will be the best one for your children and for you. But really them. It has been and will always be for them.
But once you decide which path is best, you will be all in and you will never look back. And I am proud of you for that.
I am not going to sugarcoat it though. Leaving your marriage will be the hardest thing you have ever decided to do. It was, will be and many ways will forever be so damn hard. And the next four years you will get a priceless education in life. Your major is resilience with a minor in tenacity. And you keep going. You will hit rock bottom. And then a trap door will appear and you will fall deeper in the trench. But you don’t give up. You crawl and cry and scream when you have to. But you never stop.
And one evening in July four years from now, you will be reading “Where the Crawdads Sing” on your blue velvet couch that you and your son put together and outside your new window you will see that the sky will be changing into the most stunning kaleidoscope of colors. You’ll see Niko pass the window on his bike and Micah in the grass barefoot and shirtless and you’ll call to the girls to come outside. And you’ll all walk down the path to take in all angles and shades of the sunset. And there will be laughter and they will pose for a photo for you with your new house up on the hill, clouds yellow, whole and hopeful above it. You will smile, maybe even get a little choked up and you will take it in.
It will, my dear girl, be worth it.
You will be okay. Better than okay. And so will those smart, witty, brave kids of yours. Just keep going.
And just a side note, around February of 2020, you’ll want to stock up on toilet paper and cleaning supplies and really take a moment to savor the time when your kids are in school. Just trust me on this.
Here’s to the priceless educations of this life…
Katie has a book out that is a collection of quotes and mic drops to embrace your inner warrior. “Girl Power” is available on Amazon and is the perfect gift for all the warriors in your world. You can find out more details and book signing info on her instagram @katieyackleymoore. Endless thanks for reading. Xo
To read more blogs by Katie Moore click here.
Katie Yackley Moore is a freelance writer, real estate agent, yoga instructor and a momma of four navigating life and a separation and finding herself in the process. She adores coffee shops, laughing until it hurts and impromptu dance parties. Her work has appeared on Scary Mommy, Mamalode and HuffPost Parents. She has published a journal entitled “Dream a Bigger Dream” and the children’s books “You Are a Warrior” and “We are Family” and just finished her first novel. Catch up with her between tea breaks on Facebook.