Happy 2021 to you. I want you to know that I know that there are such a great number of you that are good, really good people.
I also want to hold onto some hope that there are a lot of you who want to be better. Better fathers. Better partners. Better leaders. Better friends/uncles/grandfathers. Better humans. Better men. I see you. And I want you to know that a lot of us women would love to have better men in our lives. What a difference it would make to this world.
This past year has spread a lot of women very thin. I know that men have felt the weight and brunt of the pandemic in endless ways as well but the facts simply remain that women carry more of the workload of the home and the child raising while still working under extreme stress and for less money earned. You can just trust me on this but you can also feel free to google it to find such headlines as, “It is Exhausting being so Resilient all the Time,” “Women More Anxious and Overworked amid Pandemic,” and “Why Female Employees are Burning out at a Faster Rate than Men.”
There is also a staggering statistic that of single parent families, 84% are moms, while men only constitute 16%. That many women are doing google searches of how to teach their sons to shave and how to tie a tie and the best way to be both the mom and the dad. They can do it all of course and have done so for all of humanity for all of time. But what if you could take some of that off of her plate. And for those of you in partnerships, how can you rise and be the person you know that she and your children deserve?
It is simple and does not require overthinking. It starts small. It starts with you showing up. And evolves into listening, really listening to what would really help. It varies house to house and town to town but the fundamentals are the same. You offering to help carry what needs to be held. And then repeat. Without resentment or guilt or judgment. No mentioning of being owed anything at all. Just help, hold, listen and show up. And that is enough to change families which is enough to ultimately help the entire human race.
We can do it without you. That may sound harsh but those are the facts of generations. Women have little choice but to rise and rise again in almost every facet of life. But what a difference would it be to spread the burdens that we carry? If we don’t do it during a pandemic, when will the timing ever be right?
So please, reach out now. Listen now. Show up now. See what needs to be done and without waiting for instruction please just do it. Be the man that you know that you have the potential to be. Not just for her and the children watching. But for you. We leave a legacy whether we realize it or not. What do you want yours to be? Being a great man seems like a great place to start.
In gratitude and hope,
All of the Tired Women
Read more blogs by Katie Moore here.
Katie Yackley Moore is a freelance writer, real estate agent, yoga instructor and a momma of four navigating life and a separation and finding herself in the process. She adores coffee shops, laughing until it hurts and impromptu dance parties. Her work has appeared on Scary Mommy, Mamalode and HuffPost Parents. She has published a journal entitled “Dream a Bigger Dream” and the children’s books “You Are a Warrior” and “We are Family” and just finished her first novel. Catch up with her between tea breaks at The Naked Momma and on Facebook.