Love. 

A tween’s life is crammed with comparisons that almost always say they are inferior.  Don’t tell your teen, “I love you.  You have the most gorgeous hair.” Or even worse, “I love you. You are so slim and elegant looking.”   Love your tween (or any kid for that matter) for who they are, not for their genetic makeup or how well they mesh with societal norms.  Love your child for character traits, not for physical features. “I love you. You are so kind to others.”  I love you. You have proven to be a faithful friend.”  Don’t make your tween earn your love.  Give it.  Shower it upon them. Hug them; kiss them, and tell them, “I love you; you fill my heart with joy.”