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Sunday, December 4, 2022
HomeFamilyParenting AdviceTweens Need Love, Stability and Confidence…

Tweens Need Love, Stability and Confidence…


I grew up in a Lutheran church and still find comfort in the steadiness, predictability and dependability of the liturgy.  Tweens need similar repeatable events to help give them stability.  A tween can easily grow three inches in a year. How can a kid feel life is stable if he can’t even be sure that his arms end at the same place today than they ended yesterday?

We can help our teens gain stability through implementing routines.  Routines are not the same as rules.  Routines just happen.  We walk the dog every morning before going to school. It is not a rule.  It is just what we do. Sometimes a routine can incorporate a mutually advantageous quid pro quo. Without saying a word, your tween will quickly learn that if she leaves home with her bed made, chocolate chip cookies will be sitting on a plate when she gets home that day. Going to church together every Sunday is a positive routine although it may not fill a tween’s heart with rejoicing.  The trick is not to make life a constant string of tension-inducing decisions. Instead add some stability through routines. It is just the way we do things.

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