At home, mother-of-three Mia Lisa Millares teaches her kids kindness. At work, Millares helps other families do the same.
Millares is the executive director of Doing Good Together, a national nonprofit that offers families and educational professionals kindness tips and volunteering resources.
To raise kind kids, parents need to teach kids kindness. One way to do that is by volunteering as a family. Volunteering as a family helps the community, encourages family bonding and teaches kids the skill of kindness.
Where to Start
Parents can lay the groundwork for volunteering as a family by having regular family conversations centered around kindness, empathy, compassion and generosity.
According to Millares, these conversations encourage responsibility and problem solving while providing valuable family time.
“You’re able to talk about really important issues that sometimes are challenging to talk to kids about,” Millares says. “It gives you this opportunity to really have an organic conversation where kids understand more about the context of why you’re doing what you’re doing.”
These conversations can be built into everyday life.
“You go around the table and you say something that you’re grateful for,” Millares suggests.
Millares also suggests time spent in the car as an ideal space for talking and reflecting.
While parents want to encourage kindness in kids, talking about it is how kids actually receive that message.
Millares shares why this message can fall through the cracks. When kids come home from school, parents ask how school went, how class was or how they did on a test. What parents are missing is asking kids if they helped anyone today or if they were kind, Millares says.
What parents talk to their children about shows kids what’s important to the parent and what should be important to them.
“I want my kids to see that I’m doing that, and I want to model it for them and see that they also have the power to help,” Millares says.
Parents can encourage empathy by asking children to think about other people’s feelings.
Did a classmate fall at recess? How do you think that made them feel? If you fell, how would you feel? What might make you feel better? Can you do that?
Time to Volunteer?
Having time to volunteer doesn’t mean giving up the activities your family loves. In fact, families can take part in many volunteer opportunities without ever leaving the house, Millares says.
With a pinch of intentionality, a simple coloring activity can become part of a national effort to share a smile.
Color A Smile, a national nonprofit, distributes cheerful children’s drawings to senior citizens, troops overseas and others in need of encouragement. To participate, parents print a coloring page from the nonprofit’s website, children color with crayons or markers and then parents mail the drawing to the nonprofit, where it gets sent exactly where it’s needed most.
Other in-home opportunities include programs like making care packages, dog toys or even Valentine’s Day cards.
If your family is ready to venture out into the community at large, parents can start by talking to their children about their interests, Millares suggests.
If a child likes spending time outside or at the beach, parents can teach them about good environmental stewardship by picking up litter or helping out at a community garden.
For children who love to chat, think about visiting a senior living facility. Kids who love cooking might like volunteering at a soup kitchen.
Following children’s interests gives kids opportunities to cultivate what’s important to them and see their giving back being powerful, Millares says.
